Page 24 of The Sleepwalker
‘Don’t lie. That’s all men do at trade fairs.’
‘Not me.’
‘Is that because you don’t want to, or because you know I’ll be able to tell?’
‘Because I don’t want to,’ he says with a sense of exhaustion,slumping back down onto the bed.
‘You look sexy,’ she says.
‘Right? I’m completely wiped out. The air in the conference hall is so dry, and the place is so loud. You don’t realise it at the time, but it’s hard work.’
‘No propping up the bar tonight, then?’
‘Not for me,’ he says. ‘I’m going to get another couple of hours’ work done, have dinner with the gang and then get an early night so—’
‘Emilia is shouting for me,’ she cuts him off. ‘I love you. Don’t do anything stupid. Speak later.’
Nils Nordlund is a civil engineer by training, but he works as a product designer for Top Solutions, a consulting and competence partner with a focus on IT, management and technology. He spends almost all of his time working on client analyses, aiming to develop a deeper understanding of customers’ needs, desires, behaviours and emotions.
He left his home in Örebro early that morning, to drive to the trade fare in Kista, just north of Stockholm, despite Tina screaming that she would be gone by the time he got back. Her jealousy began spiralling out of control when she was pregnant for the first time, claiming that all men cheat on their wives as their bellies get bigger. Nils had hoped it was just a phase, but if anything, things have only got worse. Tina scours his phone for proof of his infidelity, calls him constantly, follows him, interrogates him, argues and screams at him.
Once, two years ago, he came home late after seeing some old school friends. He was a little drunk, but he quietly unlocked the door, tiptoed inside and came round on the hallway floor a few seconds later. She had cracked him over the head with the heavy pestle from the kitchen, and he had to go to hospital for six stitches above his right ear.
They spent two months in couples’ therapy after that, and herepeatedly told the truth: that he had never cheated on her.
Tina’s jealousy has become unsustainable, but Nils has always felt that he needs to stay with her – for the kids’ sakes, if nothing else.
But now he is no longer sure.
Around two months ago, Tina confessed that she had cheated on him in order to get revenge, so that he would know how she feels.
He hadn’t wanted to hear any of the details, but she insisted on telling him about the Friday night when she went out with two of her best friends from Axfood. They had gone to Chilango, and she had spotted a man at the far side of the bar.
Tina said that she had smiled every time he met her eye, and that she had held his gaze for a little too long. Just before one in the morning, she and her friends had left the bar, but she had pretended she needed to go back inside to use the toilet right as their bus arrived. She went in alone, sat down on the empty stool beside the man and ordered a glass of wine.
‘Aren’t you going to ask if he was handsome?’ she wondered, pausing for a moment. ‘I’d say so. Tall, with brown eyes. Probably only twenty-three or twenty-four .?.?. I can’t remember his name right now, but it was something foreign .?.?. Anyway, after chatting for a while I told him that I wanted him – right there and then. He followed me into the ladies’ .?.?. Stop blubbing, I want you to hear this. He pushed me up against the wall, kissed my throat and my tits. I pulled my knickers down, tossed them into the sink and hoicked my skirt up .?.?. His hands were shaking as he put the condom on, and he got me up against the wall again and pushed inside. He was fucking me like a bull, but he slipped out. I pulled the condom off and whispered that I wanted him to come inside me, just like you do with your whores. Then I turned around and braced myself against the toilet, and he did me from behind with his massive dick. MyGod .?.?. Heroaredwhen he came. Probably made everyone in the bar choke on their drinks.’
She stopped talking and stared at him with glassy eyes, her face revealing some sort of frightened arousal.
After that, it was as though something had snapped inside Nils.
Last week, he created an account on Victoria Lace, a dating site for people in committed relationships. The homepage was black and gold, with a large picture of a beautiful woman with dazzling blue eyes, red lipstick and a black lace mask. The copy was full of lines like ‘find your secret affair’ and ‘make life worth living’ alongside guarantees of discretion and confidentiality.
Nils spent hours on the site, and eventually got in touch with a woman called Mikaela from Norrviken, close to Kista. She is thirty-two and married to an older man she loves. She wrote that she has no intention of leaving her husband, but that she misses the thrill and raw horniness of casual sex.
Mikaela was clear when they talked that she wanted to do it in the car, that she had often fantasised about it, and they have arranged a first meeting outside Edsviken Tennis Club. As Nils makes his way through the hotel lobby, he takes out his phone and switches it to silent to avoid being disturbed by Tina.
9
A light snow has started to fall as Nils Nordlund drives away from the conference centre and leaves the huge glass tower block behind.
Despite the anxious knot in his gut, he knows that this is something he needs to do – at least once – if he wants to save his marriage to Tina.
He drives slowly through a residential area, past large, brightly lit homes, but after just a few minutes, he reaches the last property. A hazy pool of light spills through the hedge, then the darkness takes over.
Nils slows down and switches his headlights to full beam.
In their bright glow, the narrow road looks like a dark red carpet stretching out in front of the car.
