Page 57 of Big Island Moonlight
“Good thing she’s got you.” His voice was a low murmur in her ear.
“Good thing,” Emma repeated hollowly. She sighed and leaned into his embrace. “Ethan flipped out when he found out about the baby. Completely pushed Jun away. He’s learned from his mistakes, I think.”
“He held it together pretty well just now.”
“Yeah, he did. I just hope he can hold it together for this wedding.”
“Everything will be okay,” Keith assured her, running a hand down her back.
Emma sighed and felt herself relax.
She believed him.
20
Juniper
Every time Wilder cried, it shredded Juniper’s soul to pieces.
She had tried everything. He was fed and dry. She had massaged his little belly in case it was gas pains making him wail. When all else failed, she carried him outside to pace the edge of the orchard by the light of the moon.
The damp grass was cold on her feet, but Wilder was warm in the blanket that she’d knit for him when he was still just the size of her hand. Now he was ten pounds of panic screaming in her ear, and she had a horrifying impulse to just drop him and bolt.
What kind of mother felt that way?
They were right. All the pitying looks, all the doubters. She wasn’t cut out for this.
More to soothe herself than the baby – because she had tried lullabies earlier that night, and he had just cried louder – Juniper started to sing.
Hush little baby, don’t move an inch.
Mama’s gonna show you a saffron finch.
It was a song that she had made up one day, resting in the orchard and watching the green-and-gold birds hop across the grass. She had sung it to her baby before he was ever born, before he had a name, and she had nearly forgotten about it.
It came back to her now fully formed, her dreams for him.
We’ll go to the garden and plant some seeds.
You can play while I pull weeds.
We’ll go to the beach and we’ll play in the sand,
splash in the waves and run on the land.
Miraculously, it seemed to work. She sang steadily, nearly deaf to his wailing, and slowly he began to quiet.
When the sun goes down it’s time to rest,
warm and safe in our cozy nest.
When the sun comes up it’s time to play,
and you’ll enjoy a bright new day.
By the time she reached the last line, Wilder was quiet. She could have sobbed with relief.
Instead she sang it through twice more, just to be safe. His whole body relaxed, growing heavy against her chest as he settled into sleep.
