Page 30 of Big Island Moonlight
“I saw whales. Iswamwith whales!”
“That’s awesome.” Juniper frowned at her as she picked up her tea. “But how was yourdate?”
“Thatwasthe date.” Emma looked at her, wide-eyed. “We went sailing, and there were whales. It was beautiful.”
Juniper sighed and moved to sit at the kitchen table. The sun wasn’t even up yet, and already her bones hurt. She lowered herself carefully into one of the chairs, and Emma joined her.
“But how was it between you and Keith?” she pressed. “Did you kiss?”
A line appeared between Emma’s eyebrows, and she looked away.
“That bad, huh?”
“It wasn’t bad,” she said quickly, her tone scolding. “I just…”
Juniper waited, sipping the mamaki ginger blend while Emma gathered her thoughts.
“It was a perfect first date,” she said at last. “Right up until the end. He pulled up in front of the house to drop me off, and I basically bolted for the door.”
“Ouch. Poor Keith.”
“I don’t know what I was thinking. I was just overwhelmed by this sudden, thoughtless panic. He gave me an absolutely perfect sunset picnic out on the water, we chatted the whole drive home, and then I just ran away from him.”
Juniper blinked at her, at a loss for words.
Emma groaned and put her head down on the table with athunk.
“He loves you, Auntie Em.” Jun was trying to comfort her, but all she got was another groan of despair. “He’s been patient so far.”
Emma said something, but the words were lost somewhere between her throat and the wooden table.
“What did you say?”
She picked her head up and inhaled a sharp, deep breath. “I said, I don’t think I can do this.”
“Do what?”
“Date. Kiss someone else. It’s terrifying.”
“Do youwantto kiss him?”
“I don’t know.” She put her hands over her face, embarrassed. “Yes. I think so. I mean, I do.”
“So?”
Emma dropped her hands and met Jun’s eyes. In the pearly morning light that filtered through the kitchen widows, with her sleep-tousled auburn hair framing her round face, she looked very young. Juniper was able to see past the woman she had known all her life to the girl who had fallen in love with Adam at sixteen – the girl who had never even been out on a date with anybody else. Until last night.
“Keith’s a good guy, Auntie. It’s okay to take things slow.”
“What if I’m never ready? What if I’m just stringing him along?”
“He’s well aware of your trauma. He knows what he signed on for.”
“I just… it’s been less than two years since Adam died.”
Two years seemed like a long time to Jun, but her aunt and uncle had been together for longer than she had even been alive. She had no idea what that was like, either to have a steady partner for most of your life or to lose them when they were all you had ever known.
“What if I’m not ready?” she asked.
