Page 74 of Big Island Sunset
She let him go, not sure what she felt. He was a good man, and she was glad to have him in her life… but sometimes that gladness got itself all tangled up in her grief for Adam to the point that she couldn’t tell which way was up anymore.
Filled with too much restless energy to go back and sit on the porch, she started gathering fallen branches from the front yard and consolidating them into one pile. The twigs and leaves could be clipped and used as mulch, while the bigger branches could go into the big compost pile she had going near the goat pen.
Without a word, Lani came down from the porch and helped her work.
“Our little durian tree made it through,” Keith announced with a grin as he strode back into view. “The shade cloth blew away, but the tree wasn’t harmed. I set the cloth back up again, so all’s well. Can I give you a hand up here?”
“Sure.” Emma tried to smile at him, unwilling to snub his kindness, but she was suddenly very tired. She turned and scanned the front yard, trying to figure out what was making her so uneasy.
A sick sort of feeling came over her when she saw that the blue marble tree had dropped a huge branch right where her jaboticaba sapling usually stood.
The tree that had produced flowers and fruit against all odds.
The tree that sheltered her husband’s ashes.
She couldn’t see it.
Her heart was frantic, but her movements were leaden and slow as she worked to uncover the little jaboticaba tree.
When she saw the wreckage, her heart broke in two.
The tree was completely ruined, its thin little trunk splintered beyond all hope. The falling branch had crushed it, snapping it in half.
She couldn’t breathe.
It’s just a tree, she told herself. It’s just a stupid little tree.
She could feel Keith and Lani behind her, watching her. She couldn’t look at them, couldn’t make eye contact with either of them, or she would fall to pieces right there in the front yard.
Moving in an unsteady, robotic sort of way, Emma went into the house. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Keith move to follow her — but Lani stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.
She couldn’t breathe.
Mechanically, she climbed the stairs. Her limbs ached with the effort of moving when she just wanted to collapse. Her chest felt frozen.
Finally, she reached her bedroom.
She closed the door behind her, crossed to her bed, and hid beneath the covers.
Then, finally, she sobbed.
23
Lani
They stood watching as Emma hurried up the steps and into the house.
Lani felt a numb sort of grief. She still missed Adam terribly, and he hadn’t been a part of her daily life. Emma seemed to be doing so well, but Lani knew that the grief she lived with must be crippling. No wonder it still dragged her under at times.
“Is she okay?” Keith asked, moving to stand beside her.
“No.” She looked at him, the kama’aina transplant with blue eyes and brown skin. He didn’t hold a candle to Adam. No one ever would.
This guy professed friendship, but he was obviously just waiting on the opportunity for something more. It wasn’t fair for either of them, as far as Lani was concerned.
But what did she know? She had divorced and then married within the space of a few months, which was objectively foolish.
It had been right for her. Tenn was her person.
