Page 50 of Big Island Sunset
She had reached for her phone several times to text him, but it felt silly to text when he was just a few yards away, so she had waited.
Now, at the top of the stairs, she opened the front door and let herself in, as she had gotten used to doing over many weeks of helping him to take care of Theo.
It was stuffy inside and very dim, with all of the curtains pulled shut. It took her a moment to spot Ethan on the couch. He sat leaning forward, with his arms braced on his legs.
Was he… crying?
“Ethan?” She spoke softly, but he still jumped in surprise.
He rose to his feet, cursing under his breath and ran an arm across his face.
“Are you okay?” she asked. It was a stupid question, but she didn’t know what else to say.
“You didn’t knock,” he snapped.
She stepped back in surprise. “No. I don’t usually.”
“Maybe you should.” The venom in his tone caught her off guard.
Fern realized that she was staring at him with her mouth hanging open. She pressed her lips together and swallowed, glancing around in search of Theo. He wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen, and there wasn’t any noise coming from the bedroom. He must be asleep, though it was a strange time of day for a nap. He’d be up past midnight at this rate.
“Is Theo sleeping?” she asked.
Ethan nodded curtly, not meeting her eyes. “The Kona trip threw off his sleep schedule.”
“Right. Should we get him up for some dinner?”
“He just fell asleep. He was exhausted.”
“Okay.” She hovered there by the door, feeling torn.
She obviously wasn’t welcome… but at the same time, she didn’t want to leave. She wanted him to know that he could lean on her when he was overwhelmed, that he could talk to her…
“Are you hungry?”
“No, I’m not hungry.” His voice was flat and unfriendly.
“Do you want to talk about whatever it is that has you so upset?”
Ethan’s eyes flashed as he turned to look at her. They were red-rimmed from crying, but there was an anger there that made her take another step back.
“What do you want me to talk about, Fern?” His voice was acid, eating away at everything they had built in the past few months, everything that had grown between them. “My dead wife?”
She took a breath and kept her voice level. “Is that what you were crying about?”
“What do you even want from me? What do you see in me? Is it just Theo? Because if you want more time with him without having to deal with me, you’re welcome to him. He’s better off with you, I’m sure.”
“No.” She put a hand to her chest, hurt. “It’s not just Theo. I care about you.”
“Why?” he demanded. “What do I have to offer you? I’m a wreck.”
She opened her mouth, ready to list his good traits, but he waved her into silence.
“My life is a trainwreck, Fern. My daughter hates me. My sisters despise me. I’m a disappointment to my parents. My wife was so miserable with me that she OD’d.”
“That wasn’t your fault.”
“How would you know?” he demanded. “You never even met her!”
