Page 48 of Big Island Sunset
“No mother could be more present than you have been,” Liam said. “You’ve been right there by his side his entire life.”
“I’ve been working too much,” she argued. “I let my homestead and my business take me away from my son.”
“You did all of thatforyour kids.”
“Did I?” She bit her lip and looked away. “I’m not so sure anymore. That wasmydream. And yes, it was the childhood I wanted for them. Now I wonder if it’s serving any of us anymore. But I’m in so deep that I’m not sure what to do about it.”
“Say the word and I’m there. Whatever you need.”
His words hit so deep that she tried to make a joke of it: “My knight in shining armor?”
“If you’ll let me be,” he said earnestly.
She reached out and took his hand. “Thank you.”
“It’s not entirely selfless,” he said in a lighter tone. “I miss you when you’re working. I’d like to see more of you, but I don’t want my expectations to add to your stress.”
“They don’t.”
“I don’t want to be just another thing on your to do list.”
She blushed and looked away, which made him laugh.
“You know what I mean, Tara. This isn’t casual. Not to me.”
“It isn’t to me either. I’m just–”
“Busy. I know.” He reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. Her hair was up in a messy mom bun, she wore a sundress that was older than her son, and yet Liam looked at her like she was the most beautiful woman on the island.
She sighed and frowned, trying to find her way back to their conversation.
“I’ve downsized where I could,” she continued, “and I’m open to selling more animals, but nothing I do feels like enough. I keep on getting more customers every week, and that’s a good thing, because I’m finally putting a bit of money back into an emergency fund instead of living hand to mouth. But I don’t want to make the same mistake with my girls that I made with Cody.
“I regret letting the homestead take up so much of my time that I missed out on the last bit of his childhood. Because that’s it. He’s not a kid anymore. It’s just… gone, done. He grew up overnight.
“I want to be there for them – not just there in the house, but really present. I’m just struggling with how to do that. And then the baby… Iwantto be there for Juniper, but I can hardly handle my own kids, never mind a newborn. And don’t even get me started on trying to wrap my mind around the thought of becoming agrandmother–”
Liam leaned in and cut her off with a kiss mid sentence.
“Was I rambling?” she asked.
“Yes.” He smiled at her, and there was such an ocean of love in his eyes that Tara felt overwhelmed by it. Love of that magnitude could transform her life, if she let it. But with so many other changes happening all in one year, she didn’t feel ready for more.
“Sorry.” She sighed and reached for a cracker.
“You can ramble at me anytime,” he said. “I just don’t like to see you spiral.”
She put a slice of cheddar on top of the cracker and gave herself a moment to really take in their surroundings: the play of light and shadow over Liam’s face, the sound of the wind through the tall grass and the leaves overhead. They lived in such a beautiful place, but Tara lived so much in her head that she was blind to it most of the time.
“I can think of one solution to all of our problems.” Liam’s voice was quiet, almost diffident.
“Yeah?” She turned back to him with a smile. “What’s that?”
“Move in with me.”
She froze.
“Maybe I’m a fool for asking so soon, but Tara… we’ve known each other for nearly twenty years. There are no big surprises. We know each other.”
