Page 26 of Big Island Sunset
Each new difficulty that she faced without him felt like a true trial, a test of her strength that she couldn’t meet withoutgrowing into an entirely new person. Just when she thought that she had a handle on things, some new worry sprang up to demand that she grow stronger still.
The knowledge of how mucheasierall of this would be with Adam by her side was a wound that refused to heal.
“Mom!” The urgency in Kai’s voice made her sit up. He ran up to her and skidded to a stop, windmilling his arms.
“What is it?”
“Can we make popsicles? I told Prince that we make our own popsicles and he didn’t believe me so can we show him how?”
“Sure.” She let out a breath of a laugh, relieved that there wasn’t some new stressor to deal with. “I don’t think we have any juice, but we could use one of Juniper’s teas. Or just water with honey and lemon?”
“Yes!” He turned and ran off, shouting, “Hey Prince! We’re making lemonade popsicles! Come on!”
Emma rose to her feet, feeling the stress of the day in the way that her muscles ached. She smiled sadly at the jaboticaba tree and touched the tip of one of its branches.
Then she followed her son inside to make lemonade.
6
Fern
“She can’t handle this!” Ethan’s voice was getting louder, but there was no anger in his tone or in his expression. His eyes were full of fear. “She thinks that she can, but she has no idea! I try to suggest that she doesn’t have to, and that makes me the bad guy?”
Fern closed the bedroom door, leaving Theo to sleep beneath the soothing hush of a white noise machine.
“She has no idea what it takes to be a parent, how hard it is to take care of a baby. She refused to even sleep under the same roof as Theo when he was a newborn, and now she wants to do thisalone?”
“She’s not alone,” Fern said softly. She sat down on the couch and patted the next cushion over, motioning for him to join her, but he just kept pacing the living room.
“I should leave Teddy with her for a week,” he muttered, his eyes on the floor as he paced. He pulled at his auburn hair like he might pull it out by the roots.
“Ethan.” She raised her voice enough to get his attention. He stopped pacing and looked over at her with a start. “Take a breath.”
Reluctantly, he dragged in a long breath of air. Then another. After a moment, he came to sit down next to her.
“I hate this,” he groaned, resting his head in his hands. “There’s nothing worse than watching your kid make a huge mistake and being powerless to stop it.”
“Isit a mistake?” she asked.
He gave her a bewildered, accusatory look. “She’s seventeen.”
“Okay. So was my mom when she got pregnant with me.” Her voice softened as she added, “So was Laurel.”
Ethan looked away, and she wondered how much of his panic stemmed from there.
“Was Juniper a mistake?” she asked softly.
“Objectively? Yes.” He sucked in a ragged breath and slumped back against the couch cushions. “She’s also the best thing that ever happened to me. That’s like a trick question. There’s no right answer when it comes to kids. No matter how bad of a mistake it was, having a baby so young, you’re not allowed to say it. Juniper would never forgive me if she heard me say that. Maybe I’m a monster for even thinking it. But Laurel wasn’t ready for a baby. She wasn’t healthy enough. She managed for a while. Then she crashed and burned. And the worst thing is that Juniper suffered for it. That’s what’s impossible to explain. The mistake was bringing that perfect little girl into a household that traumatized her.”
“She turned out okay.”
“Yeah,” he scoffed. “A high school dropout and a teenage pregnancy. Every parent’s dream. She turned out great.”
“She did turn out great,” Fern said fiercely, and Ethan looked at her in surprise. “Stop judging yourself as a parent – and stop judgingher– by one decision you don’t agree with. Juniper is bright and kind. She’s running her own business and holding down multiple part-time jobs besides. She’s a good person. Yes, she’s young. Yes, she’s still figuring things out. But she needs your support, not your condemnation.”
“I know.” Ethan put his head in his hands again. “You’re right. I just don’t know how. I don’t feel strong enough for this, Fern. I wanted so much more for her.”
“What about what she wants for herself?”
