Page 11 of Big Island Summer
“Hey Auntie Em! Tara sent you some breadfruit salad. Do you want it now, or should I stick it in the fridge?”
“In the fridge is fine.” Emma went to the stove and poured them two mugs of lukewarm tea.
“Okay if I go away this weekend?” Juniper yanked the fridge open and slotted the plastic container in before closing it again. “Tara and her boyfriend are taking the kids camping Kona side, and Cody invited me to go with them. It’s fine with Tara. Would you mind? We’re just going for two nights.”
Words stuck in Emma’s throat as she handed Juniper one of the mugs.
“Hey, it’s my calming blend,” Juniper said after a sip. “Are you okay, Auntie Em? You look stressed.”
“Would you come sit on the couch with me for a minute?” Emma asked, her voice creaking. She moved towards the living room, but Juniper stayed rooted where she stood.
“You’re scaring me.” Juniper’s whole demeanor changed in a blink from a carefree seventeen year old to a world-weary young woman who knew what it was like to find her mother unconscious on the bathroom floor, barely breathing, lips turning blue.
It was a small mercy that she hadn’t been there to find Laurel this time around.
Emma wondered who had found her sister-in-law’s body. Had she died at home for Ethan to find? Or had she overdosedin a public bathroom somewhere, minutes after getting her fix? Both possibilities were horrible to contemplate.
If Toni had given her those details, Emma hadn’t heard her.
She walked into the living room and around to the front of the sofa, where she perched on the nearest cushion with her mug of tea clutched between two hands. Juniper followed, setting her own drink down on the coffee table with an agitatedthunk.
“What’s going on?” Jun demanded.
“Sit down, honey. Please?”
“She overdosed again, didn’t she?”
No words came out when Emma opened her mouth, but Juniper took the look on her face as confirmation. She threw herself onto the couch and put her head in her hands, grabbing two handfuls of hair like she might rip it out. A moment later, she threw her hands down, slapping the cushions with both palms.
“Jun–” Emma reached for her niece, but Juniper didn’t look at her.
“Howcouldshe? Teddy istiny! He’s so little! At least with me she stayed clean until I was, what, four? She went through this whole freaking spiel about how this time it was real, she was finally sober for good. Even her dad was talking to her again! Andmydad was right there with her, all dopey eyed like a new baby would make a difference.”
She growled in frustration and pressed her hands to her eyes. “The worst thing is, I believed her too! I thought she had finally pulled it together. I feel sostupid.”
“It’s not stupid to hope,” Emma said.
“It is,” she insisted. “Sometimes it is.Younever thought she’d get clean for good, did you?”
“I hoped she would.”
“Exactly.” Juniper’s tone was savage.
The truth was, Emma hadn’t believed that Laurel would be okay. As much as she tried to be supportive, any real hope that she’d harbored had gone out the window after her sister-in-law’s third or fourth relapse. They had even staged an intervention of sorts for Ethan while his wife was in rehab, begging him to end things for Juniper’s sake… it hadn’t gone well. It was nearly a year before they saw himorJun again.
She hadhopedfor recovery, a fervent wish that the woman her brother loved so desperately would finally get her life on track… but after over a decade of mental illness and addiction, she’d never had any real faith in Laurel’s ability to stay clean. When she’d learned about the second pregnancy, she’d felt a deep sense of dread.
Now Laurel was gone, and Emma felt sick with guilt.
What if shehadbelieved in her?
What if she had stayed in Redwood Grove and shown up for them every day?
Those questions would haunt her for the rest of her life.
“Where is she now?” Juniper’s voice was hoarse with unshed tears. “Same rehab place as last time?”
“Sweetheart…” Emma looked her niece in the eyes. “She didn’t make it this time.”
