Page 52 of Big Island Neighbors
She gave him another glancing look and shook her head.
He sighed. “I’m not saying that I was actively pining for you all those years that you were away. But I was crazy about you when we were kids, and that all came rushing back the moment I saw you again. You’re extraordinary, Lani.”
“I’m not.” She looked directly into his clear brown eyes, challenging him. “I’m broke and I’m married. I work at my cousin’s shave ice place. Just now I nearly had a panic attack over abunk bed. I’m a mess.”
“You’re Lani King.” He smiled softly, holding her eyes. “You are a brilliant artist and a wonderful mother. And there’s something else. Something that I’ll probably never be able to put into words.”
She looked at him and felt her guard drop just a bit. Whenever she was truly present with him, she felt at ease. It was her own head that got in the way, her misfiring brain that saw danger where there was none.
“It has to do with your energy,” he continued. “Your light, your laugh, the way you move when you catch a wave. How when I’m near you, the rest of the world falls away. That’s who you are. The rest is just noise.”
Tears burned her eyes. She cleared her throat and said, “The noise gets pretty loud sometimes.”
“I get that.”
“I’m sorry I freaked out.”
“What happened?”
She looked down, pulling at the fluff of the blanket. “The bunk bed. The drawers. It was…”
“Too much too fast?”
She nodded.
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for. Anyone else, anyone normal—”
“Stop.” He reached out and put his hand over hers. “Don’t do that to yourself. We just started dating. You’re in the middle of a divorce. I overwhelmed you, and I’m sorry. I wanted to show you that… well, that I want to make space for you in my life. For you and Rory both. Olivia keeps asking for another sleepover. But I didn’t mean to push or pressure you. I just want you to know how much you mean to me.”
“I’ve never lived alone.” She took a sip of her tea and set the mug down.
“Never?”
She shook her head. “My parents’ house, college roommates, cruise ships, Zeke… And now Emma. I won’t rush into living with someone. I can’t.”
“I understand. I didn’t mean…”
“I know. I know, you didn’t even ask me to move in.”
“But you know that I would,” he said wryly. “I’d live with you in a minute.”
She met his eyes again, made temporarily mute by the warmth and fear that warred in her chest.
“And that’s totally overwhelming.” He smiled abashedly and looked down, running a hand through his hair. “I get it. I’m sorry.”
The warm feeling in her chest won out over the cold read that had tried to overtake her, and she smiled. “Maybe we should stop apologizing.”
He met her eyes and grinned. “I will if you will.”
“Deal.”
“The bunk bed wasn’t as unhinged as it seems, I swear. Olivia‘s been asking for one for a while, for sleepovers. Or maybe mostly just because she wants to sleep on the top bunk.”
She let out a shaky laugh, releasing the last of the fear that had grabbed her. “Noted.”
“I wasn’t trying to rush you. We’ll go as slow as you need to. I wanted to show you that there’s room for you, for both of you, in our lives. I love having you around. So does Livie.”
