Page 36 of Big Island Neighbors
Tara took a breath before answering. She didn’t know if she would be able to keep Gertrude through the end of the year, much less two fully grown cows. The feed costs alone were crippling. If it came to an unexpected vet visit (and with this many animals, it was only a matter of time), she simply wouldn’t be able to pay.
So far, Cody was keeping the wolves from their door by cutting enough grass and high-protein plants that they had been able to forgo their usual purchase of alfalfa cubes from the feed store, but he couldn’t keep going like this forever.
If Tara couldn’t become financially solvent, and soon, she would have to start selling animals.
But she didn’t want to burden her eight-year-old daughter with her financial worries. At least not yet. Piper had met their money troubles head on, as she did everything, but Paige was hurting. Of the three kids, she had always been the closest to her father.
The other two seemed half relieved that Mitch had stayed on the mainland, that there were now thousands of miles of distance between them and the pressure and criticism that he heaped on so strongly at times. But Paige was confused, and she was grieving.
“What do you want to name her?” Tara asked.
“Really?” Paige looked up at her, fully meeting her eyes for the first time that day.
The twins had hazel eyes - but like their freckles, their irises weren’t identical. Piper’s eyes were mostly amber. Paige’s were greener than ever, drinking in the lush verdancy of the rain-drenched pasture and reflecting it back.
“Does that mean we can keep her?”
“I’m not sure what the future holds, sweet pea. But I’ll do my best.”
Paige turned back to the gentle calf and stroked the side of her face. She was a mix, more Jersey than anything, with a doe-brown coat that softened almost to white around her eyes and nose.
“Let’s call her Maybe.”
Tara smiled and put an arm around her daughter. “Works for me.”
Paige let out a shuddering sigh that bordered on a sob. Tara turned towards her and put her other arm around her. She started to cry in earnest, pressing her face into Tara’s sweater and releasing all of the fear and grief of the past few weeks.
Maybe browsed nearby, unbothered.
“I’m sorry,” Tara said when Paige finally quieted.
“Sorry for what?” Her voice was muffled, speaking into the soft wool of Tara’s top. “Youdidn’t leave.”
“I’m sorry for being so caught up in figuring things out that I didn’t make time for this. Just being here with you. Holding you.”
Paige started to cry again.
“It’s okay to miss him. He’ll always be your dad, and he loves you so much.”
She cried harder, and her arms wrapped tighter around Tara’s middle. When the storm finally quieted, after she straightened up and blew her nose, Gertrude came over and gave her a friendly nudge. Maybe followed, and Paige’s face brightened.
“Mom?” She turned to her, summoning her courage. “I want a horse.”
That caught Tara so off guard that she laughed, and Paige’s face fell.
“So we’ll get you a horse,” Tara said.
Her hands flew to her cheeks. “Really?”
“I don’t know how many years it will take us to save up, and we’ll have to board her somewhere else, but yes. Really. We’ll work hard, and we’ll figure it out.”
“That’s what we do,” Paige said in a tone of such bravado that it reminded her of Piper.
“That’s right.” She reached out and smoothed a strand of copper-colored hair that had come out of her braid. “That’s what we do.”
12
Emma
