Page 26 of Big Island Sunrise
Connection over control.
It was her mantra, the running theme of all of the books on parenting and child development that filled her shelves back home. She knew what her son needed.
She had just been sunk too deep in grief to give him that.
But that was a blip. An inevitable interlude. She could get back to her best self again.
She had to.
“Thank you so much for picking us up,” Lani gushed as she wrestled her daughter’s car seat into the back of Emma’s car.
“Thanks for the invitation,” Emma replied. “We needed to get out. There’s so much to do on the property that it’s easy to go all week without going anywhere at all, but it’s a shame not to get to the beach while we’re here.”
“Are you ready for a beach day, Kai?”
He turned away from her and scowled out the window, arms crossed tight over his chest in a posture that screamed,Don’t talk to me!
Emma gave Lani an apologetic look, which she dismissed with a shrug and a smile. Car seat secured, she scooted back out of the car and smiled at her daughter.
“Ready, Freddy?”
She giggled. “My name’s Rory!”
“That’s right! Silly me. Hop on in.”
Once they were cruising up the highway towards Hilo, Lani put a hand over hers and asked, “How are you holding up, really?”
“I’m doing okay. Sunshine and sweat are good medicine. I’m closer to normal than I’ve been in a long time.”
“That’s great, Em.”
“Getting away from the constant reminders helped, I think. I mean, they’re here too. Pictures of Adam when he was Kai’s age. All the summers we spent here when we were young. But it’s not the same as being in our house every day without him. It helps me feel closer to him, being here. Instead of just feeling the hole where he should be.”
“That makes sense.”
“How are you doing?”
“I don’t even know.” Lani laughed, but the sound was all stress. She looked over her shoulder at Rory, who was rocking out to theMoanasongs that were blasting on the back speakers. She turned back to Emma and said, “Getting here was this huge rush, you know? Getting out with my girl, making it home. It was this heady feeling of freedom.”
“And now?”
“Now it’s all catching up with me. The rental market here is insane. I’m working at Kekoa’s shave ice place, and I’m so grateful to have a job and childcare, but it still doesn’t come anywhere close to covering what rent costs here. Anything in my price range is horrific. Tiny rooms with peeling wallpaper I could handle, but not the black mold.
“And then car prices are just as bad, so I don’t know how I would move out even if I did find a place. So it’s just me and Rory on an airbed in Mano’s office. And we’re lucky to even have that, but it’s not sustainable.”
“Come stay with us,” Emma said.
She didn’t need to think it over. She knew in her gut that Lani moving in would be the best possible thing for everybody. What’s more, it’s exactly what Adam would have said. And he would have said it sooner, as soon as he heard that she was back.
Lani was shaking her head. “You don’t have to do that.”
“We have so much space.”
She shifted uncomfortably. “I wasn’t hinting at anything.”
“I know you weren’t. But the space is there, okay? Think about it. You can have John’s truck.”
Her jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”
