Page 44 of Big Island Sunrise
Her own mother had suffered one miscarriage after another, something that she became aware of very gradually as a little girl. At times she felt surrounded by the spirits of her brothers and sisters.
It had been a comfort to her, in a strange way, the felt experience of a young child who couldn’t understand the full picture, could only grasp the vague imprint of siblings who never quite materialized. Sometimes she worried that she was condemning her daughter to the same, long days with only ghosts for company.
But ever since moving home to Hawai’i, her guilt had receded. She watched ‘Olena’s daughters dote on Rory, watched Kai slowly come out of his shell, saw the growing community of the co-op her cousin had created, and she knew that Rory wasn’t doomed to a lonely childhood.
It wasn’t the same as having a sister, sharing a room and a life the way Lulu and Kiana did, but that way okay. Maybe it was even better, judging by the way ‘Olena’s daughters scrapped like cats in a sack and then doted on their little cousin. That was the relationship that Lani had with her cousins growing up: all the love of siblings without the scrappy complications that came from living in close quarters year after year.
Hours later, when the kids had burned off nearly all of their energy, Lani and Emma loaded them back into the car and headed south for their big grocery run.
They finished with just enough time left to catch the day’s sunset. The kids were already nodding off in the back seat, but Emma insisted that they drive down to the beach.
“I love it here,” she said, “but I’ve missed ocean sunsets so much. I’ve never lived on the east coast of anywhere before, it’s so strange.”
Not one to turn down a sunset, particularly a Kona sunset, Lani was content to drive a few miles down Queen Ka’ahumanu Highway and turn into the harbor.
They parked at the far end and walked a short distance along the coast, each carrying their overtired kiddos, until they reached a hidden beach that ran for nearly a mile up the coast.
The kids perked up again as soon as they reached the beach, and they splashed happily in the shallows while Lani and Emma settled down to watch the sunset.
The sky turned yellow and gold as their piece of the globe turned slowly away from the sun, and the colors only intensified after the sun disappeared. The whole sky turned gold with vivid pink clouds that faded to lavender if they looked back towards home.
Rory came back shivering, and Lani wrapped her in a thick towel. It was funny how quickly her Alaska baby had turned into an island girl. Though she supposed she always had her in soft merino thermals up north. Even this far south, the water felt cold in the wintertime.
Kai wasn’t shivering, but his lips tinged towards blue as the light faded from the sky. His mother bundled him up as well, drying his hair and then pulling a hooded beach towel over his head.
“Can we come back tomorrow?” he asked as they walked back towards the parking lot.
“I don’t know about tomorrow,” Emma said with a light laugh, “but we can definitely drive over here more often. There are so many amazing places on this island that we haven’t been to yet!”
“I just want to come here,” Kai said, suddenly stubborn. Emma sighed and exchanged a look with Lani, mustering her patience before replying.
“We can definitely come here again soon.”
“Thanks.” Kai slipped his hand into Emma’s, a simple gesture that touched Lani’s heart. Rory was quick to grab Kai’s other hand, and then she reached out for her mom.
They finished out their day like that, the four of them walking hand in hand under a pink and purple sky.
14
Emma
Another crack of thunder shook the house, and Emma peeked into her son’s room. Incredibly, he was still asleep. The poor dog had retreated to the far corner beneath Kai’s bed, and he showed no inclination of emerging before the storm passed. Outside, the pouring rain merged with the waterfall sound of the catchment tank overflowing.
The wind screamed past the windows, but it was a bit quieter in here. His room was under Lani’s, so the rain wasn’t landing directly overhead. The noise inherbedroom was like standing under a waterfall with a bucket over her head.
Drowning in white noise, she paced through the dark house like a ghost.
It had been a good day. Full and busy, fulfilling. She’d fallen asleep easily not long after Kai.
Then she dreamt of Adam. A golden, shining nothing of a dream. She could only remember the radiant happiness of being with him, seeing his face, leaning into the sturdy solidity of his body.
Then she woke up.
And she missed him with an excruciating intensity that she hadn’t experienced in weeks. There was no sleeping after that.
The lights blazed on, and she flinched.
“Emma?” Lani stood at the lightswitch, watching her with a worried expression. “Are you okay?”
