Page 32 of Big Island Sunrise
Lani laughed, and her fear drained away.Look where you are,she thought to herself.Blue skies and sunshine and a perfect little girl. There’s nothing to be scared of here.
“I’m still here,” she confirmed.
“Is it ten minutes yet?”
“Almost.”
“You’re gonna be late for work!”
“Okay, okay, I’m going!” She stood, and Rory launched herself into a hug that just about knocked her over. Then she was off again, shouting at her cousins.
“Can I give you a ride to town?” Tenn asked.
She opened her mouth to say no, but nothing came out. All through college and her cruise ship years, she was perfectly at ease around guy friends. But five years with Zeke had eroded that confidence. She didn’t feel safe or comfortable around men anymore.
Her uncle and cousin were the exception, men she had known all her life. But she found that these days, being around any man she didn’t know well put her hackles up. She hated this part of herself, this new defensive fear, but she didn’t have any idea of how to uproot it. Strange men made her nervous.
But this wasAlfie. Alfred Nakamura with his green and purple pens. The sweet boy who had kept her from failing precalc. He had been the soul of kindness then, and her gut told her that was still true. She made a mental note to ask ‘Olena about him.
“I’m headed to the restaurant,” he told her, “and I’ll be back later to pick up Livie. You can ride with me if you want to. No pressure.”
“Yeah.” She took a breath. “Okay. Thanks.”
He smiled, and her stomach did a little somersault. “Anytime, Lani King.”
10
Emma
All of the kids in ‘Olena’s co-op were sweet and inclusive, but Kai still hovered on the edge of things. Emma hung back, hoping that he would join in the fun with his cousins and their friends. No such luck. He steered clear of them all morning, paying more attention to the stray pup than the other kids.
Even the baking soda and vinegar only held him close to the group for a few minutes. It was a brilliant activity, science meets art, but Kai wasn’t impressed. He went along with it in a halfhearted way and then wandered off again.
Adam would have known how to help him through this.
It was an absurd thing to think, when it was his death that had caused this crippling grief in the first place. Still, she couldn’t help but think it. If the tables were turned, if she were the one who was gone, Adam would be doing better by their son than she had so far. He would have done a better job at keeping him engaged with the land of the living.
Help me, she pleaded, looking at a tiny cloud that moved across the ocean, miles away.Help me know how to help him.
She was still staring out at the ocean, lost in thought, when Kai walked up.
“Do we have food?” he asked.
“Are you hungry?”
“What do we have?”
“Let’s see.” She looked through the bag she had thrown together. “We’ve got a bunch of mandarin oranges, some celery and peanut butter, beef jerky–”
“Beef jerky,” he said quickly. Then, as an afterthought, “And peanut butter.”
She handed them over. “I think your cousins are going to have lunch soon if you want to sit with them.”
“No thanks.” He ran off towards the edge of the beach park and sat down in the shade, his back to a tree – and the other kids. Emma sighed and looked back out at the ocean.
A call came in from her little sister, and she picked up.
“Emma! You actually answered!”
