Page 14 of Big Island Sunrise
Emma was just a few yards away.
Lani stared at her for a moment, wondering if that was really her. Adam’s widow was curled in on herself, gray and tired.
She watched her son carefully as he waded through the water, but there was a hollowness to her expression. She was a woman not quite there, barely tethered to her body. Lani knew that feeling all too well.
“Emma.” She put a hand on her shoulder, and Emma gave her a vacant-eyed look. It went on for several beats, long enough for Lani to wonder if she had forgotten her altogether. Then there was a spark of recognition, followed immediately by an upwelling of tears.
“Lani.” She pulled her into a crushing hug. “Oh my God, you’re so grown up. How long has it been?”
“Long time.” She hugged her back just as fiercely, heart breaking for the years she had missed, the time with Adam that she would never be able to make up for now.
But there was Kai.
She pulled back and looked at her little cousin. He stood at the river’s edge, watching the current with a serious expression on his face.
“He looks just like Adam.”
“I know.” Emma swiped tears from her face with the back of her hand, but her eyes brightened with a smile. “Everyone says so. I’m glad we’re here. Kai’s not so sure.”
“He’ll come around.”
“Mama, look!” Rory ran over, stumbling over the river stones. She held her hands out to show a rare find, a bit of sea glass that was the same bright lime green as the northern lights.
“Beautiful! Rory, this is Emma. She’s your auntie.”
“Anotherauntie?” Rory looked up at her with wide eyes, and both women laughed.
“Yep, another one.” Emma crouched down and pointed at her son. “That’s Kai over there. He’s your cousin.”
“There you are!” Kekoa walked up and clapped Lani on the back. “We’re about to paddle out. Are you coming?”
“I need to stay here with Rory,” Lani said.
“Emma?”
She shook her head.
“You sure? We have extra boards.”
“I can’t.” Her voice cracked, and he put a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“Okay, no worries. If you change your mind, let me know. We’re right up there.”
“Thanks, Kekoa.”
He nodded and strode back across the beach.
Lani and Emma were quiet as they watched their kids play on the rocky shore of the river. Kai threw stones that vanished instantly into the fast-moving water of the narrow outlet. Rory sat sorting the treasures she had found.
The two kids could have been siblings, they looked so much alike. Round faces, dark hair, huge brown eyes. And beyond that, a solemnity that set them apart from other kids their age. Lani’s heart ached for both of them.
“Adam’s paddle out was just a few weeks ago,” Emma said after a while.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there.” Lani wasn’t sure if Emma had even heard her. That lost, vacant look had overtaken her face again.
“I wore his wetsuit. Went out on his board, that old red one that he had so long it turned pink. It was a calm day. Seemed like half the mountain was out there with me. We left most of his ashes out there in the ocean. My sisters kept some for me, put it in this little lacquered box.” She trailed off.
Then, with sudden vehemence, she said, “I hate it. My firefighter reduced to ash. It’s like a sick joke. But I brought it with me, that bit of him. I couldn’t leave it behind. I thought maybe I could… here, with his dad. But I left it in my luggage. I just… couldn’t. Not yet.”
