Page 38 of The Earl and the Wedding Crasher
"My dears," she said hoarsely, wiping at her eyes with her kerchief. "Whatever was that? Is Papa feeling quite well?"
"Oh quite well," Penelope said briskly. "He's always like that now. He asked me about my walk to town the other day and I was so startled I dropped all my parcels on the ground. I think I scared him from asking any more questions for many days, he kept looking at me, opening his mouth and then leaving the room."
"One of the parcels was full of eggs," Alexandra said with a small laugh. "That would alarm anyone."
"He's stopped drinking," Penelope added. "I could swear to it. I have been checking the bottles in his study and the levels are the same as they were weeks ago."
"And he has not gambled in a long time now," Alexandra added. "We are managing not to lose money now, it is such a relief, Louisa."
"I can imagine," Louisa said faintly, her head swimming at the idea of a sober father who was not gambling all of their money on dogs and horses and cards. She was almost old enough to remember father before the death of their mother, the stern and distant father who was yet competent at running the household and sometimes could be drawn into conversation on her day and the things she had learned. It had felt like she had lost two parents back then, the man who had been left had been a stranger. "Whatever can have happened to him? I do not think I ever expected him to speak so fairly to me, I thought he would send me back to St Vincent as soon as he could."
"I think he is realizing how a family should be, perhaps," Penelope said slowly. "Whatever it is, I hope it continues. It is far nicer having the extra money and having him at dinners instead of having to make sure he has not drowned in his cups."
"I am managing the household purse now," Alexandra added. "Papa still has no head for sums but he realizes it and told me he would be glad of the help. It is quite nice to be able to use my mind to make sure that we are doing better."
"But Lexi," Louisa said. "You have debuted, you are sure to have many suitors for your hand. Are you not likely to have to give up the position back to father when you marry?"
"Lexi doesn't plan to marry at all," Penelope said, mischief in her eyes. "She is to be an old maid making sums in her head, and I shall be there with her making sure that she eats regularly."
"I do not need to be taken care of, you cheeky thing," Alexandra exclaimed. "And you shall marry once you are asked, I'm sure. You simply have not been out yet."
"Wait, wait," Louisa held up her hands for silence. "Have pity on your older sister, dears and speak slower for my ancient hearing. What do you mean you are not to marry?"
Alexandra sipped her tea calmly. "I have no interest in it. I am sure it is very pleasant for those of you who have married to have your own places and be mistresses of the house, but I do not care for a husband at all. Father needs me here and I am basically the mistress of our own estate myself. There is no need to seek a man who might demand things of me or order me about when I am perfectly happy where I am."
"Oh Lexi," Louisa said, biting her lip. "You have changed so since I have been here last."
"So have you," Penelope said. "I can see how red your eyes are, are you ready to speak to us about why you have made this sudden visit now or are we to continue pretending nothing is wrong?"
"Penelope," Alexandra said sharply. "You promised!"
"I promised to be still for breakfast. Louisa has finished her coffee and father has retired. I am free of my promises."
"Let us not talk of it here where father might overhear us," Louisa said quickly, her throat hurting again at the thought of her own new home that she had thought was becoming so dear to her. "Let us instead take a turn in the grounds and I will answer all your questions in time. I cannot bear it if Father should feel he must get involved."
Penelope agreed under Alexandra's stern gaze and the three of them withdrew to change their shoes as it had rained the night before and the garden was sure to be full of mud. Louisa felt her heart thundering in her breast with anticipation. Would they understand what had happened or tell her how foolish she was to expect anything else from a man who had been forced to marry her in the first place?
"All right," Alexandra said as they walked slowly about their favorite spinney of elm trees, each sister on one of her arms. "Now speak. What is it that has brought you back to us so suddenly?"
"And looking as though someone has died?" Penelope added, safe in the knowledge that Alexandra could not kick her from the other side of Louisa. "Do I need to summon a carriage and sweep away to St Vincent to hit your husband with a book?"
"We could hit him with something bigger than a book," Alexandra said thoughtfully.
"We could, but Louisa would like it so if it were a book. You cannot deny that there would be a poetry to it."
"I suppose I cannot."
"My dears, please," Louisa squeezes both of their arms gently to bring the conversation back to the matter at hand. "There is no need for anyone to be hit with a book, and I must have a sincere promise from both of you before I go on. You are not to take it into your heads to bother Cedric with anything I have said. It is my marriage and I must muddle on in my own way. I will not have others interfering."
Both her sisters looked mutinous but surprisingly it was Penelope who agreed first and Alexandra only agreed when assured that Cedric had not done anything to harm her.
"Very well," she said finally. "But I shall hold the right to think mean things about him."
"If you must," Louisa said tiredly. "I cannot order your thoughts."
"I am sure Evelina often wished that she could," Penelope said tartly. "Now that we have sworn our solemn oaths please do tell what is wrong, I am worried about you."
Louisa swallowed several times hard. The words were stuck in her throat, and she was not sure that she could dislodge them past the painful lump of shame and hurt that rose any time she remembered the way Cedric had looked at her when he told her that there could never be anything between them. "I - I did not think I should like Lord St Vincent. He was so very full of himself when we first met, he acted as though every young lady must be in love with him and he was tired of it but expected it nonetheless."
