Page 17 of The Earl and the Wedding Crasher
Then in the church his opinion of her had dipped further. He knew that his friends saw it as a favor she had done him, to protect him from having to contend with a child that was not his but would be seen as such by all of society; but whatever had been said about him it had always been in good fun, a man who might flirt with and romance a young lady but not a man who would seduce an innocent and make promises to her that he would then break with another!
It had hurt him, his pride he supposed, that this was now how he would be known.
But now she was sharing parts of herself with him he could see her a little better he thought. He watched her standing by the window, haloed by the candlelight from his desk against the great dark expanse outside and thought that she was deeper and more complicated than he had first thought. A curious creature. Perhaps one that posed a danger to him after all.
"I hope I shall continue to do so," he said quietly, moving to stand behind her. "I do not want to emulate the ways our parents have failed either of us."
"You want them to have the security that -" she stopped and turned to face him, eyes searching his face.
"That my brother never had, yes," Cedric said. His brother would have been a wonderful father, he knew it as well as he knew his own soul. He knew it in the way that the children longed for him in the dark moments of the night, the way that when he had first collected them Kenneth had clung to him as 'Papa's brother' with a desperation for comfort that had not survived the cruelties of grief and time together.
Peter had perhaps remembered him as well.
Louisa searched Cedric's face, feeling a pang through her heart at the pain and uncertainty she could read there. He was normally so confident, so easily flirtatious or sure of himself. Now all she could see is sadness in his eyes.
Was it always a mask?She wondered to herself.Or has it been recently that he has found it a part he has to play to keep people from seeing what is happening underneath?
They were standing close to each other, the soft light of the candles flickering across Cedric's face and lacing his blue eyeswith shards of golden warmth. It was a soft moment, a peace between them that she cherished. If only it could always be like this, quiet and full of understanding instead of how he usually managed to -
"You are staring," Cedric said, eyes back on her face assessingly.
"I am?" Louisa stammered, absolutely aware that she was staring and wishing that she could give him a reason that would sound better than enjoying the way the light looked in his eyes. How mawkish would that make her sound?
"Is there something you see that you like?"
He had killed the moment and thenstompedon it! She felt the familiar rush of heat up her cheeks and scowled at him reprovingly even as a little smile bloomed across his lips in amusement.
"Not at all," she said pertly, turning his smile into a grin of approval. "In fact I am tired of looking at you, my lord, and I shall be returning to my chamber."
"Sleep well, my sweet wife," he called after her as she left, sending another rush of color up her cheeks.
Was thereevera man more frustrating, confusing orinfuriatingthan Cedric Pembroke?
CHAPTER NINE
When Louisa awoke the next morning, she had resolved to spend more time with the children. Truth be told, she had been finding the adjustment from bookish third daughter, who was frequently teased for daydreaming her time away, to Lady of her very own manor to be something of a trial. She had been trying her best to learn quickly, and she thought she was getting somewhere with the lessons and duties Mrs. Brooks was so diligent about helping her master, but there was so much to learn and everything was so much bigger and more serious here than at home. In her deepest, most private fears, she sometimes wondered if she would ever truly feel like this was her home, and that she was able to run such a household the way everyone seemed to be expecting her to.
There was however one thing that Louisa knew she could do well, and that was to guide those poor little children through their grief and back out into the light. Now that she and Cedric had reached a shaky kind of truce, and especially now that he had witnessed firsthand her talent in comforting them, she was quite sure that he wouldn't object so much to her being involvedwith them. As she dressed that morning, Louisa thought hard about the situation.What should I do with them today,she asked herself quietly.What could cheer them up and bring them out of their shells a little more, show them that life here at St Vincent isn't all silence and sadness?
Louisa endured her morning hour with Mrs. Brooks before she shook the housekeeper off and made her way up to the nursery. She knocked quietly, but received no answer. Frowning, Louisa twisted the doorknob and pushed it carefully open.
Abigail and Kenneth sat quietly on the floor in the middle of the large room. The heavy drapes were open, allowing gleaming golden sunlight to stream onto the children. Louisa's heart ached as she observed them huddled together, small and lost. She took a breath and forced a smile onto her face, summoning her most cheerful energy.
"Children, here you are! How are you feeling this morning? Did you manage to get a little sleep?"
Kenneth's head whipped up at the sound of her voice, and a smile broke out across his little face. He stumbled to his feet and rushed over to her. "Aunt Lady Louisa! Good morning!" Kenneth held out his hand and tilted into a half-bow, and Louisa wondered whether it was Mrs. Brooks and Cedric who was teaching him his manners, or whether this was something he had already started to copy from his dear father.
She struggled to contain her laughter, biting her lip as she reached out and shook his hand solemnly. "And a very goodmorning to you too, young Master Kenneth," she replied as she curtseyed to him. He giggled happily, and Louisa felt her heart lift a little. She was relieved that at least one of the children had warmed up to her at last. Oh, how she hoped sweet Kenneth's bond with her would help his sister eventually feel more comfortable too.
She looked over at Abigail, who had risen slowly when Kenneth did but had remained standing on the soft rug, quietly watching them. Louisa offered up a smile. "Abigail, darling? How are you feeling this morning?"
Abigail shrugged, studying the edge of the rug intently. "M'fine," she mumbled, almost too softly for Louisa to hear.
"You got back to sleep all right? Did you eat all your breakfast?"
"Yes, thank you."
Kenneth broke in impatiently. "Abigail ate two eggs but only one piece of toast so I ate her other piece because I was hungry and she said she didn't want it and Abigail also said that Uncle Cedric might be upset with us for causing a fuss last night and that you wouldn't want to see us because we were being babies but we're not babies. We're not," he finished breathlessly. Behind him, Abigail shifted uncomfortably and glowered at her brother.
