Page 39 of The Duke and His Cinderella
Lord Codfield’s face darkened. “Are you calling me a fool, Your Grace?” he demanded. “You may be a duke, and I know that I owe you my respect, but I insist on receiving respect from youas well. I won’t be mocked, and I won’t be demeaned, not even if you do outrank me.”
“I don’t mean to suggest you are a fool.” Nicholas would have liked to do just that, as a matter of fact, but he thought it likely that he had pushed Lord Codfield to the edge of his endurance already—first insisting that he would never marry Lady Hannah, and now this. “I wouldn’t presume to call anyone a fool, for I don’t know what takes place in another man’s mind. All I say is this—I am intent on listening to every piece of advice that comes my way, no matter who it is that gives it to me. I wouldn’t like to be so proud that I ignored sound reasoning.”
“I didn’t know you held such ideas,” Lord Crestley said.
“You mustn’t be too surprised, Lord Crestley,” Lord Codfield said. “The young duke is nothing like his father. He’s willful and idealistic, and he thinks he knows more about how to manage his life and his household than men who have been doing those things for decades do. I suppose age will teach him a thing or two, given time—that’s what happened to all of us when we were young. We mustn’t expect too much.”
Nicholas was startled to see that Lord Codfield dared to speak to him that way. But at the same time, he supposed it was a good thing. Better that Lord Codfield should begin to see him as a bit of an enemy than that he should continue trying to impress him in pursuit of a union that would never take place.
He noticed that Lady Eleanor was looking at him from her place beside the fire. Their voices had risen slightly in the heat of themoment, and he supposed it must be easy for everyone around the room to hear what they were saying, but Lady Eleanor was one of the few who had bothered to look. A small smile played at the corners of her lips, as if she was pleased with what she was hearing—as if there was something in this discussion that satisfied her.
Was it possible that she was enjoying hearing her father and Lord Codfield disagreed with? He imagined that that was something she probably didn’t get to experience very often, and maybe she liked it. Or then again, maybe it was that she genuinely and simply agreed with what he’d said. He knew his viewpoint was not popular or common, so it was certainly possible that it pleased her to find someone who shared an opinion that she herself held.
Then again, maybe he was thinking too hard about it. Maybe it was just that she was so amused at the sight of the argument that she was having trouble suppressing a laugh.
Either way, he had to admit that there seemed to be more to her than he had previously given her credit for. He had assumed that she couldn’t be the mysterious lady he was looking for because she was too obedient and good-natured, but would a lady who fit that description really be chuckling to herself as she watched her father confronted in an argument? That was a difficult thing to picture. He didn’t think she would. Surely Lady Marina—who really was a sweet, well-mannered young lady—wouldn’t laugh at a time like this.
He allowed himself to consider her a bit more closely. She possessed the auburn hair he was looking for. But could it really be her?
No, he didn’t think so. The one thing that kept him from believing it could be possible was Phineas. Phineas was a good friend of hers. He would have known if she was the one. He would have said something. Of course, it was possible that it was her and she just hadn’t told Phineas…but she would have told him after the masquerade, wouldn’t she? And Phineas would have said something about that. No, it couldn’t be her.
He looked at his friend. It was Phineas’ turn at the card game, but much to everyone’s surprise, Phineas threw down his cards and got to his feet. “I think I’m finished with this for tonight,” he said. “I’ll be off to bed now. Good evening, all.”
Nicholas frowned and rose slightly to his feet as well, thinking he’d follow his friend. Ever since their argument, things had felt out of balance with Phineas. His friend had apologized, and yet Nicholas still sensed that something wasn’t quite right between the pair of them.
He followed Phineas out into the hall. “A word before you go?”
“What is it?” Phineas asked.
“I know we resolved our quarrel, but I can’t help feeling as if you’re still upset,” Nicholas said. “If there’s something I’ve done to bother you, you can certainly tell me what it is. I know that you’re unhappy about the ease with which things seem to cometo me, and perhaps you’re right to feel that way. I know my life hasn’t had the same struggles yours has.”
“I don’t wish any hardship upon you,” Phineas said. “Far from it.”
“No, I know that you don’t. I merely want to make certain that everything is all right between the two of us.”
“As far as I’m concerned, it is,” Phineas said. “Truly, Nicholas, I'm only tired. I wish to retire. It’s nothing to be worried about.”
“Are you sure?”
Phineas sighed. “I suppose it doesn’t always sit right with me the way you speak about your role in society.”
“Do you think I was wrong to argue with Lord Codfield and Lord Crestley? I don’t regret doing it,” Nicholas said. “I don’t need to impress the two of them.”
“No, you don’t,” Phineas agreed. “That’s just it, Nicholas, don’t you see that? Don’t you see how frustrating it can be that you get to be yourself, that you can say all the things that come into your mind without fear of what people will think of you?”
“I can’t do that,” Nicholas said. “Do you not understand how difficult it is to be in my shoes? It may seem liberating to you, watching me from the outside, but rest assured that for me it often feels like a prison. I have to think all the time about the wayI am perceived. I have to worry constantly about my reputation as a duke—it’s what I was always taught.”
“We both know no one will question you,” Phineas said. “We both know that you’ll always have your own way. Lord Codfield may have spoken out of turn tonight, but there aren’t even ten men in London who would defend what he said to your and he only made himself look like a fool. If someone spoke to me in that way, people would take him seriously. That’s the difference between you and I, and it’s a difference I don’t believe you will ever understand, Nicholas.”
He turned and walked away.
Nicholas sighed. He had been right, then, to suppose that his friend was still frustrated with him. He just wished he could better understand the reason.
Was it just because he was now a duke? It was a new title for him, but he hadn’t believed it would impact what Phineas thought of him. Apparently it had.
This title was more trouble than it was worth. What he wouldn’t have given for one person in his life who could strike the right balance between respecting him as a man and still dealing with him honestly! But the more time went on, the more he doubted he would.
And once again, his thoughts returned to the mysterious lady with the scarred hand.
