Page 14 of The Duke and His Cinderella
“I feel as if I ought to tell Mother and Father.”
“For heaven’s sake, Marina, there isn’t anything to tell them. That a gentleman kissed my hand six weeks ago and I haven’t seen him since? You know what will happen. They’ll take it as further evidence of my wild ways and use it as an excuse to keep me even more house-bound than they already do. They’ll probably stop me from attending the wedding. They almost did that this morning just because I was late to breakfast!”
“You know that wasn’t the reason,” Marina said. “They threatened you with that because you were arguing—something you seem to be incapable of not doing.”
“I don’t believe I was arguing. But even if I was, what happened in the garden that night would certainly be seen as a much more serious infraction. Marina, I know you want to protect me. I know you care for me, and it means the world that you do. But this is something that happened weeks ago. It poses no threat to me now. I’m sure I’ll never talk to that gentleman again.”
“It’s not him I worry about,” Marina said. “It’s you, Eleanor. You make dangerous choices that put you at risk. I know nothing happened with that gentleman, and I know that situation is in the past now. But just tonight, you were walking the grounds again. What if you meet someone out there? You don’t show prudent judgment, and I have no idea what you might do.”
“I’ve never come to harm,” Eleanor said. “You mistrust my judgment because it doesn’t reflect the choices you would make. I understand that. And yet, youmusttry to trust me. I do know how to keep myself safe, and you can tell it’s true because I have never come to any harm!”
“Except for that day in the river.”
“I fell down. That could happen to anyone,” Eleanor said. “It could have happened to you.”
“No, it couldn’t. I would never be in the river.”
That was probably true. “Don’t report me to Mother and Father,” Eleanor said. “After all our time as sisters, if there’s one thing you can know for sure, it’s that doing so wouldn’t change anything. All you would do would be to bring down punishment upon me—but I won’t change my ways.” How she wished she could have her parents’ approval, the way Marina did! But over the course of her life, she had come to realize that she could never be the person they wanted her to be. It would make her miserable to try.
Still, it grieved her that they thought so badly of her. She had to hope that Marina didn’t secretly share their low opinion.
“You know that’s the reason I neverdoreport you for any of the wild things you do,” Marina said. “Even though I feel as if I should, I never will, because it wouldn’t make you change. And what’s the purpose of it if it doesn’t do that?”
“I’m glad you see it my way.”
“Oh, I don’t see anything your way,” Marina said. “I can’t stand this, Eleanor. I feel sure something awful will happen someday, and it will be entirely my fault, because I didn’t warn anyone about the kinds of things you get up to.”
“What could possibly happen?”
“I don’t know,” Marina said. “But I’m not anxious to find out. If I thought there was anything I could say or do that would compel you to behave, I would do it. But years of experience have taught me that it’s a lost cause.”
“I wish Mother and Father would learn the same thing,” Eleanor said. “I wish they would stop trying to mold me into someone I’ll never be.”
“You won’t have to worry about it for long,” Marina said. “Soon enough, you’ll be married, and your troubles with Mother and Father will be a thing of the past.”
“An awfully high price to pay for the freedom to live without hiding,” Eleanor murmured.
Marina laughed. “You’ve never hidden a day in your life, Eleanor,” she said. “For all you complain about it, you’ve always been exactly who you wanted to be. It’s one of my favorite things about you. But it’s also the source of all your difficulties. If you really want to make your own life easier, it’s clear what you need to do—submit to what Mother and Father want for you. Submit to your husband. Don’t be such a rebel. That will make you much happier.”
Eleanor knew that her sister had a point.
But she also knew that submitting was the one thing she would never be able to bring herself to do.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Marina and Jacob’s wedding was to be a week-long affair. Their parents, each for their own reasons, were determined that this should be the social event of the season.
“But you don’t care for lavish parties,” Eleanor said as she helped her sister dress for the first evening. The guests would be arriving tonight, and Marina’s gown was a splendid one in the latest fashion. Eleanor herself had also been given a new gown, one which didn’t suit her tastes at all, but she would have worn a burlap sack if it would make her sister happy. She stood beside Marina so that they could look at themselves side by side in the looking glass.
“No, I don’t much care for them,” Marina agreed. “But Mother does. And this is what Father wants me to do.”
“But it’syourwedding,” Eleanor protested. “Shouldn’t it be about what you want? I mean, shouldn’t it be at least partly about that?”
“It is,” Marina said. “It’s mostly about that, Eleanor. Almost everything this week is about me and what I want.”
“I don’t see how,” Eleanor admitted. “I know that this isn’t the sort of party you would have chosen, if you’d had a choice.”
“No, it isn’t, but can’t you understand that that doesn’t matter to me? I don’t care what the party looks like. The party is just a party. What matters to me is that I’m going to be married to Jacob, the man I love more than anything in the world.”
