Page 65 of The Heartless Duke's Bride
“I’ve packed my things,” she replied.
“I’ve decided that you’ll be better off remaining behind this time,” he told her, thinking it would be best to simply say what he had to say quickly and not leave her wondering.
She closed her eyes. “I thought you were probably going to say that.”
That did make it a bit easier.
“I supposed you probably guessed I’d be feeling that way, given the way things have been between us.”
“But you promised,” she reminded him. “You knew that I dreamed of going to Bath, and you promised that we would go together. I know things have been different between us lately, but I did think you would keep your word.”
“I’m going to be very busy working,” he told her. “I won’t have time to show you around the city.”
“Just bring me along with you,” she pleaded. “You don’t need to show me around.”
“I could hardly permit you to wander in a strange city unchaperoned,” he said. “It would be inappropriate and irresponsible.”
“I’d stay indoors,” she offered.
“You don’t want to go all the way to Bath just to stay indoors.”
“I’m going to be sitting around the house here,” she pointed out. “As long as that’s all I’m doing, I might as well do it in Bath.”
“We haven’t been getting along at all,” he said, and she nodded in agreement. “How long has it been since we even spent time in the same room as one another? It would be pure torment to travel all the way to Bath together, with no one but each other for company, because we wouldn’t know what to say to one another. We wouldn’t be able to carry on a conversation. And once we were there… we wouldn’t have space, Lydia, like we do here.
“You wouldn’t be able to get away from me when you were tired of me like you can at home. We would be together much of the time, and the rest of the time, I would be busy working, and you would be cooped up. I’m sorry you felt as if I had promised you this. I didn’t mean to break my word. But the fact of the matter is that it’s not a good idea for either one of us to take this trip together right now. It will be much better for you to remain at home. Perhaps things will be different in the future.”
“Perhaps,” she agreed sadly.
She looked as if she might cry, and Edward hated the fact that he had hurt her so badly. But he was sure he was doing the right thing. After all, he did have to go to Bath, and it would be the perfect time to sort through his feelings. Maybe when he got back, he would feel a bit more certainty about what the future ought to look like.
“You take care while I’m away,” he said, hoping she would hear the genuine affection in his voice, but doubting that she would.
She turned away and said nothing.
He left the room.
Colin was waiting by the front door. “I suppose you told her?” he asked quietly.
Edward nodded wordlessly.
“How did she take it?”
“I don’t think she’s very pleased with me. But it was the right thing to do,” Edward said. “She can’t come with me. Not this time.”
He expected Colin to disagree, but his brother nodded. “I think you’re doing the right thing,” he agreed. “I think you can use this trip to figure out what you want. And I hope that by the time you return, you’ll be able to answer that question—both for her sake and for your own. You’ve both suffered enough over this, and I think it’s high past time for resolution.”
“You think you know what I’m going to decide, don’t you?” Edward asked.
“No,” Colin said. “I have no idea what you will do, Edward. All I can say is that I hope for what your answer will be.”
CHAPTERTHIRTY
Lydia watched the carriage leave from the conservatory window, feeling positively gutted. She hadn’t realized the extent to which she had been counting on this Bath trip. Not only had she looked forward to seeing a new city, but she had also imagined that this would be the moment she and Edward would be able to heal the rift that had been growing between them.
Traveling together would mean they wouldhaveto talk to one another, and even if they couldn’t manage to forge a friendship like the one she had once imagined, at least they might be able to be cordial with one another.
She didn’t even think about love with him anymore. That possibility had been effectively ruled out, and she knew it only made sense for her to move on from it in her mind—even if she couldn’t yet let go of it in her heart.
