Page 80 of A Deal with the Broken Duke
He was afraid she wouldn’t. But she did. She took one last look at him, then vanished through the curtain.
It felt as if he would never see her again, even though he knew it wasn’t true. They would see each other at balls and parties. And his friendship with Daniel would endure. They weren’t out of each other’s lives.
But the next time they saw one another, things wouldn’t be the same. There would be a distance between them, one that had never been there before, because before this, they hadn’t known how much they cared for each other, and now they did know.
I’ll never be able to look at her again without wanting to make her mine.
He was glad he had told her to leave first. He didn’t think he would be able to handle being around people right now. He was too destroyed by what had just happened.
And the most horrible part of all was that she had broken into a part of him that had been walled off for a long time. He had thought himself incapable of developing feelings for people. He had thought he couldn’t be hurt like this anymore.
He’d been wrong.
He walked to the edge of the patio and looked out at the grounds, wondering what he was going to do with himself now that all this had happened. He would have to account for the fact that their courtship had ended. People would have questions about that. But he felt he could handle those questions. What would really be difficult was the knowledge that his heart was open now. He was vulnerable to a kind of pain he’d thought couldn’t touch him anymore.
He was about to turn away and go inside, to try to distract himself from these thoughts when he caught a hint of movement out on the lawn.
He squinted. If someone was out there, they were very close by. Was it possible he and Juliet had been overheard? If they had, that would be a very big problem…
The movement, if that was what it had been, did not happen again.
But now Harry was concerned. It seemed as if the only thing he could do now was to try to protect Juliet’s reputation. It felt like the world would end if her life was damaged in any permanent way because of their time together.
If someone had seen them together out here, he needed to find out who it had been and make sure they would never say anything.
He hopped over the railing and went out into the yard, moving slowly, knowing perfectly well that if someone was watching, they would be able to see him approaching. He was lit from behind by the windows of the house, and there was no point in trying to sneak up on whomever it was.
“Let’s talk,” he called out. “Come out, whoever you are.”
But no one emerged. Of course they didn’t. He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised.
He reached the place where he thought he had seen them behind a tree and looked, but there was nobody to be seen. If someone had been here, they were long gone.
It had probably been his imagination, he decided. He had thought he’d seen something that wasn’t there at all. His mind was in such turmoil after what had just happened with Juliet that he simply wasn’t perceiving the world around him very clearly. He could be forgiven for that
What he couldn’t do, though, was face any more of that party. He couldn’t go back inside and watch her dancing with other people. Or even worse, what if she wasn’t dancing? What if she was in there crying, standing off by herself, and he was forced to confront the way his careless actions had left her in pain?
He shouldn’t be afraid to witness the consequence of the things he had done. He knew that. It was weak. But right now, all he wanted was to leave.
It’s better for her too.
Whatever she was going through, it wouldn’t be helped by having to spend the rest of the night in his company and knowing that the two of them couldn’t speak.
He was glad that he’d jumped over the railing around the patio. It was for the best. He was able to walk through the grounds around the house and up to the front without passing through the crowd. And in a matter of minutes, he was safely ensconced in his carriage and on his way back home.
He stared out the window as he rode.
It felt as if everything had fallen apart so quickly.
Of course, it hadn’t really been sudden at all. Things had been pointing in this direction from the very start. He should have known when he had begun their courtship by promising Daniel that he would end things if there was any sign that his curse was having an effect on her that they weren’t made to last.
He should have known it when he started to have feelings for her. That was all the indication he’d needed that something was wrong. He was surprised, now, that he’d managed to convince himself that they weren’t real for so long.
It had been real from the moment she’d come back into his life. He knew that now.
Back at home, he retired to his study and poured himself a glass of scotch. He took a long drink, wondering what on Earth he was going to do with himself.
I should never have come back from Paris.
