Page 79 of A Deal with the Broken Duke
“Not as long as I stay away from you.”
She nodded and closed her eyes. A single tear rolled down her cheek.
“I can’t risk your life,” he whispered. “Not loving you the way I do.”
“Even though I don’t believe in it.”
“I can’t.”
She nodded. “I wouldn’t ask you to. I wouldn’t ask you to live in fear like that. If I honestly believed that my presence would do you harm, I would walk away from you too.”
Harry rubbed his hands over his face.
He had never imagined that it would be like this.
“I’ve lost so much to the curse,” he said. “I didn’t think it would take something away from me in this way. I thought I was guarding my heart, and that nothing could break it. I never expected to fall in love with you.”
“I need you to know before we walk away from one another for good that I would do this for you,” Juliet murmured. “If you ever decided it was worth the risk—”
“You know I can’t decide that. I know you understand why I can’t.”
“I know that.” She swallowed hard. “I’m only saying that if you ever did, I would be here. For you, I would take the risk. I don’t believe in your curse, Harry, but even if I did believe in it, I would consider you worth risking myself for.”
That frightened him even more.
And yet, he could understand, because he knew he would do the same if their positions were reversed. If this curse had been a threat to him and not to her, he would have had no hesitation at all about pursuing this courtship.
It was only for her sake that things had to end.
It couldn’t be a ruse anymore. What existed between them was real. And that was too big a risk to take.
“It means a lot to me,” he whispered. “I’m sorry it isn’t something I can accept from you. You know how much I wish things were different.”
She nodded. She didn’t look as if she trusted herself to speak.
“You should go,” he said. “I’ll wait a while before I follow, just to make sure that no one sees us and realizes we were out here together. I wouldn’t want to damage your reputation.”
She laughed through her tears. “How could I possibly be thinking about my reputation right now?”
“Someday, you will be. Someday you’ll want someone else.”
She shook her head.
“Someday,” he insisted. “I know when that day comes, I’ll be out of my mind with jealousy.”
He felt a burning in his gut just thinking about it. One day, she would be happy in someone else’s arms. He wanted that for her, but even so, it killed him that some other man would have what he couldn’t have.
“It won’t happen,” she insisted. “I’ll never feel what I feel for you about anyone else, Harry. It’s not possible.”
“Please don’t close yourself off to it.” He brushed her cheek with his fingers. “I’ve lost so much, Juliet. It’ll kill me if I see you happy with someone else, but that’s nothing to how I’ll feel if I know you’re alone because of me.”
“Not because of you.”
“It would be because of me. You know it would. If you can’t move on from these feelings, if you let them keep you away from opportunities for future love, then it’ll be a tragedy that we ever came into each other’s lives again. Please, I’m begging you. When you’re ready, when you feel you can, please try to let love find you again.”
She nodded. He caught one of her tears with his thumb. He wanted so badly to embrace her, to steal one more moment of closeness, but he’d done far too much damage already without even meaning to.
“Go,” he murmured. “Go now, while I have the strength to let you go.”
