Page 55 of A Deal with the Broken Duke
Matilda came in and closed the door. “I didn’t know whether you wanted to see me.”
“When have I ever not wanted to see you? And why wouldn’t I want to see you now?”
“Because you haven’t wanted to see anyone since the garden party,” Matilda replied. “You didn’t come to dinner that night.”
It was true, she hadn’t. Juliet had been avoiding her family. “I didn’t know what to say to anyone.”
“Did something happen?” Matilda crossed the room to the tea tray and poured a cup of tea for herself. “I know you were reluctant to interact with Harry at first. But I thought we had a good time playing nine pins.”
“We did. I did.”
“Then why are you upset?”
“I’m not upset,” Juliet said.
Matilda set down her teaspoon and took a long look at her sister.
“No,” she agreed. “You’re not upset, are you?”
Juliet felt a shiver as if Matilda had seen straight to her core. She so often felt that way around her sister.
“You’re happy,” Matilda noted. It was nearly an accusation.
“I don’t know if I’d say that.”
“I would. I can tell. I can read it on your face. You’re happy. Something happened at the garden party that you liked.”
“Nothing happened.” But Juliet could feel herself blushing now, and she knew for certain that she wasn’t going to fool anybody like that.
“It had to be the moment you tripped,” Matilda continued. “He caught you. I saw that. Everyone did. That’s it, isn’t it? You liked having him catch you.”
Juliet looked away. She didn’t know what to say.
“You can admit it,” Matilda said quietly. “I know you liked it, Juliet. You can say so.”
Juliet sighed. “I don’t know how I feel about it. It was something new. I liked it when he was holding me. I liked the way he seemed to care when he thought I was hurt. But does any of that actually mean anything? That’s what I don’t know. And I think it might not.”
“He does care about you,” Matilda said. “You know that. He wouldn’t be doing any of this if he just didn’t care about you at all.”
“I know that. I don’t know. It felt different at the garden party.”
“Do you think he has feelings for you?”
“Not the way you mean it. He couldn’t possibly. We both knew what this was when we entered into it, and it’s not going to change because I almost fell to the ground during a game of nine pins. He doesn’t think of me that way.”
“But you think of him that way, don’t you?”
Juliet closed her eyes. “I shouldn’t,” she whispered. “I don’t want to.”
“I think you do want to.”
“I don’t even really want to talk about this, Matilda. You don’t understand. Youcan’tunderstand.”
“Why can’t I understand? And don’t say it’s because I’m too young, Juliet. I’ve been your sister all my life. I know you better than anybody else does. If anyone can understand you, it’s me, and I think I do.”
“He can’t love me.” Juliet couldn’t even believe she had uttered that word out loud.
Matilda didn’t argue. She just waited.
