Page 40 of A Deal with the Broken Duke
“Why not?”
“Because Father has gotten attached now to the idea of me marrying an earl or a duke,” Juliet explained. “If I offered him someone else, it would have to be a person of similar rank, and that narrows things down considerably. Even if I could find another gentleman under the circumstances, it would be difficult to find someone he’d accept.”
“But then, what are you going to do? You can’t just marry Harry!”
“Oh, certainly not. I’d rather die.”
“There’s no need to be so dramatic,” Matilda chided. “You’re not going to die.”
“No, but I’m not going to marry him either. I don’t know what I’ll do. I suppose I’m just going to have to continue with the false courtship for now, at least until Lord Stickland finds someone else to turn his attention to. Once he moves on from me, it will be safe to end my courtship. And then, I suppose I’ll just have to say yes to the next halfway decent gentleman who makes me an offer.”
“It all sounds so bleak when you put it like that.”
“It does feel a bit bleak,” Juliet admitted. “I wish I could say that I believed things would work out for the best in the end, but at this point, I’m just trying to avoid the worst outcome, not holding out hope for the best. If I can stay away from Lord Stickland, that’s all that really matters to me.”
“I still think you should tell Father how awful he is.”
“But he isn’t that awful. Not really.”
“How can you say that? You’ve made it clear what a terrible person he is, how odious you find him—”
“I do,” Juliet agreed. “He’s horrible, but that isn’t what I mean. I’m only saying that when I look at the things he’s actually done, it’s a bit difficult to find anything that will turn Father against him.”
“He bruised you.” Matilda indicated Juliet’s arm.
“He did,” Juliet agreed. “But it’s not as if he hit me. He just gripped me too tightly.”
“Well, that isn’t acceptable!”
“I’m not saying it is, but what would Father actually say if I were to tell him about it? He would be sympathetic, I’m sure, but he wouldn’t be angry with Lord Stickland. He would tell me that in the future I should be more cooperative when a gentleman wanted to talk to me. He would think it was my fault for trying to pull away.”
Matilda said nothing.
Juliet knew that her sister would have liked to continue arguing, but that she could think of nothing else to say. Matilda knew that Juliet was right. Their father wouldn’t like to see the bruises on Juliet’s arm, but his advice would be more focused on how Juliet could prevent similar incidents from occurring in the future than on how they could keep Lord Stickland away from her. He wouldn’t want to give up his aspirations of seeing her married to a high-ranking gentleman.
“I might as well face it,” Juliet said. “This situation I’m in right now is the very best I’m going to get.”
“But how are you going to put up with it if Harry continues to say hurtful things to you?” Matilda asked.
“I’m just going to have to remind myself over and over that I don’t care what he thinks,” Juliet stated. “It isn’t as if his opinion really matters. Why should I care if he thought I was ugly when I was a child? Why should I care if he wants to laugh at my appearance? Let him. It’s not as if I’m trying to impress him.”
“That’s a very good point,” Matilda said. “It doesn’t matter what he thinks.”
“And with you by my side, I’ll be able to remember that.”
“Well, you don’t need to worry aboutthat.” Matilda laughed. “I’ll be right by your side all season long! In fact, I’d be willing to bet that Harry will get tired of me by the time the Season is over.”
“I think I will speak to Father about letting you attend some balls if you are willing,” Juliet said.
“Of course I am. You know I would do anything to help you, Juliet. And I’ve always wanted to go to a ball, really go to a ball as a young lady, and dance with the gentlemen there, and wear a new gown…” Matilda sighed. “If I start meeting gentlemen right now, maybe I’ll have fallen in love by the time I’m ready to marry.”
“You’re only five-and-ten,” Juliet reminded her sister with a smile. But she couldn’t help thinking that Matilda did often seem older. Her younger sister had always been wise beyond her years.
“I may be young, but I’m also right,” Matilda countered. “It would be much easier to simply have all of this resolved, not to have to think about it anymore. Don’t you wish you had settled it back when you were my age?”
“I suppose,” Juliet sighed. “But your courtship shouldn’t be something you’re worried about, Matilda. It should be something you’re free to enjoy. It should be something that you can feel joyful and excited about.”
“It hasn’t been that way for you.”
