Page 39 of A Deal with the Broken Duke
“What did he say?”
“He was talking about… about how much I’ve changed,” Juliet said, then blushed. This was deeply embarrassing to talk about. “He was talking about when I was a child, and how different I looked…”
“Oh Juliet,” Matilda said sympathetically.
“I thought he had changed. But now I think he must just be thinking about that all the time! The whole time we were out together, I’m sure that’s what was on his mind. Every time he looks at me, I’m sure he’s comparing my looks against the way I looked when I was a child.”
“I’m sure he’s not always doing that,” Matilda soothed.
“I can’t know, though.” Juliet groaned. “I so wanted to put my dislike of him in the past and stop thinking about it, but how can I do that if he’s going to keep bringing the past up? It’s impossible to ignore.”
“What did he actually say?” Matilda asked.
“He said that I looked different now,” Juliet replied. “And that I used to be chubby.”
Matilda hissed like a cat. “I can’t believe he would actually say that. What a thing to say! I wonder why he found it necessary to make a comment like that to you. He must have known that it would make you feel ashamed!”
“I don’t care what he says,” Juliet murmured, more because she was embarrassed at how he had affected her than because it was the truth.
“Of course you care,” Matilda said briskly. “Anybody would care. Are you going to end the courtship?”
“No.”
“No? Not even now?”
“I can’t afford to,” Juliet argued. “I still need what this courtship has to offer. I still need Lord Stickland away from me.”
“Even ifthisis the cost?”
“It’s not really that high a price.” Juliet shrugged.
“Letting him talk about you like that? You don’t deserve it, Juliet.”
“No, of course not. But that’s not the point.”
Matilda let out a sigh. “This courtship business is fraught, isn’t it?”
“Very,” Juliet said fervently.
“I was going to ask Father to allow me to attend a few balls this year. But now, seeing everything you’re going through, I really don’t know whether I want to at all! It doesn’t seem like nearly as much fun as I’d hoped it would be.”
“No, it really isn’t that bad,” Juliet said, feeling guilty. She didn’t want to make her younger sister fear her own coming out. “When the time comes, I’m sure it won’t be as bad for you as it has been for me. I’ve just been unlucky.”
“I don’t know. We have the same father, after all. Isn’t it going to be the same set of problems? Father will want to see me married to someone of a higher station. An earl or a marquess, most likely. And if such a person makes an offer, it won’t matter to him how I feel, just as it didn’t matter to him how you felt about Lord Stickland.”
“He may give you some time to find a suitor of your own, just as he did for me,” Juliet put in. “And if he does, I highly suggest you do what I failed to do and find someone. Even if you aren’t sure about how you feel about the gentleman, having the ability to choose for yourself is important. You want to have that power, I assure you.”
“Yes, I do,” Matilda agreed. “This has taught me that much if nothing else.”
“You’ll be able to find someone,” Juliet assured. “Don’t worry about that. Plenty of gentlemen were interested in me. It’s my fault I didn’t return their interest.”
“It’s not a matter of fault. If you weren’t interested in them, then you weren’t! What were you meant to do about that?”
“I could have tried harder,” Juliet said sadly. “There were plenty who were much less objectionable than Lord Stickland. And if I’d come to Father with a choice of my own, he wouldn’t have come to the point of wanting to choose for me. He would have honored the choice I was trying to make. I feel sure of that.”
“But if you think that’s true, why not just find someone you like now?” Matilda asked. “You could end things with Harry once you’ve found someone you like, and then you could go to Father and say that you’ve changed your mind. He probably wouldn’t like that very much at first, but he would adjust to the idea.”
“I don’t think it would work.”
