Page 76 of What We Keep
“What do you hate admitting, sweet Elsa?” His low voice spun around my heart.
“I just feel so stupid. I wanted an asshole like Brad to like me. When he showed up at Heartfire Falls, all I could think was what an idiot I’d been. It’s not just him. He’s kind of the pinnacle of me being a foolish girl, trying to impress people who aren’t worth my time. He pushed every button on my insecurities.” I cleared my throat, feeling that familiar sense of shame.
“Sweetheart, we all make mistakes.”
“Did you ever date somebody who treated you like that?”
Haven’s gaze slid to mine. “Not specifically somebody like Brad, but life’s life. I’ve done dumb shit.”
I eyed him skeptically. “I know better now, but more than once, I believed my heart was broken by guys who weren’t even worth a shred of my time and energy. I just feel so stupid. Brad was so confident he could take advantage of me again.”
Haven squeezed my hand. “Elsa, you figured it out when you were ready to figure it out. You weren’t stupid. One of the things I love about you is that you really wear your heart on your sleeve. I know that’s kind of a cliché, but you do. You’re kind to everybody. You give everybody a chance. Maybe sometimes that means you’ve given people a chance who didn’t deserve it. But…” Haven let out a weary-sounding sigh. “I’m the cynical asshole who assumes the worst of too many people.”
I squeezed his hand now. “No, you’re not.”
His gaze flicked to mine as he rolled his eyes briefly before shifting his attention back to the road. “See, you’re going to try to be nice about it. But even before our dad died, before the fire, and before Bree died, I was never that guy who was going to give everybody an easy chance.”
My heart flipped over in my chest. “Maybe not, and maybe I am too trusting. I appreciate that you’re trying to put a good spin on me being foolish.” I let out a little laugh. “But I did figure it out. Of course, I thought I was being all slick with you.”
“Slick? What do you mean?”
“As if I could do this thing where I would keep it casual.” I paused because everything felt like a lot. “I’ve been half in love with you since the first time we kissed.”
“Well, I told you I had a crush on you in high school.”
He couldn’t see me, but I rolled my eyes. “Maybe so, but it was just high school,” I insisted.
“When we had the argument, you said that thing about me keeping my distance and how you understood what that meant. I know I do that, and I know it’s not helpful,” he said. “Also, just ask my brothers.”
“Ask your brothers what?” I pressed.
“How big my crush was on you.”
“Oh, my God,” I mumbled, my cheeks heating in the darkness.
He shook his head. “The truth is you were my high school fantasy.”
“What?!” I yelped.
“All the way. You were the girl next door, and you were so cute and funny. You were always nice. Meanwhile, I was the big, awkward guy.” He shook his head with a wondering sigh. “So yeah, you were.”
I gaped at him. He flicked me a glance, then returned his attention to the road.
“Now you know the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God,” he teased.
“Wow,” I breathed, trying to absorb this.
For the first time, I sensed just how honest Haven was being. “Look, you’re that girl for me. You always have been, and I need to be clear about something. It’s not like I was angling when you needed a place to stay. I figured I’d have to keep my shit together, but I also thought that old crush was nothing much. I was wrong on that count.”
I squeezed his hand. “Wow. My life would have turned out so much better if I’d known you had a crush on me back then.”
Haven shook his head. “I think our timing is better now. We were young, and you moved away.”
“I know, but?—”
“Elsa, our time is now. We get to keep all the good things.”
“Thank you,” he said a moment later after quiet had stretched between us.
