Page 98 of From Helsinki with Love
“Okay, I’ll try my best.”
* * *
After the goodbyes, I slump down on the bed and let out a sigh. My hands cover my face, and I sit here, trying to hold my tears in. I’m feeling so fucking disappointed and sad. Knowing that the team wanted to get rid of me hurts more than everything else I’ve experienced lately. Or maybe, just maybe, the pain is this bad because I know I deserved this all with my actions.
The door to the bedroom opens, and Vivian walks in. She puts our coffee mugs on the nightstand and moves to sit next to me. She wraps her arms around me, resting her chin on my shoulder. And I love that she’s here with me.
“I don’t know how I can go and just pack my things like nothing is wrong,” I admit, and her hold tightens. “It hurts so fucking much.”
“You don’t have to act strong. It’s okay to feel down or even angry right now. Get it out before you leave.”
I shake my head. “It won’t help…I should have known this would happen.”
“I don’t know much about trades, but it sounds like your old team got two players for you. That means you’re worth a lot.”
“My contract says the same,” I point out humorously.
Her tone turns serious. “Stop making jokes and let yourself feel, Jasper.”
“But it’ll hurt even more.”
“Then let it.”
Her words of reassurance make the first tear fall down my cheek. I knew I could be traded anytime, but I wasn’t prepared for it. Not when the past year has been such a whirlwind.
“Oh, love,” Vivian whispers as she notices my tears. “Just let it out.”
“It all seems like a bad dream…a fucking nightmare, but instead of being able to wake up, I have to live it. I gave my all to that team, and they just tossed me on the side without a second glance.”
“You know it’s not like that,” she murmurs, soothingly drawing circles on my back.
“I guess you’re right, but I feel so let down.”
“It would be odd if you didn’t. That team was your safe place for many years.”
“That’s exactly why it hurts.”
“But it seems you already have a friend or two in the team, so that should be fun.”
Her words make me smile, even though it isn’t my usual happy smile. “Yeah, my old college teammate and a good friend, Felix Hildebrand, plays in the team.”
“See, something positive.”
Her being here right now means everything. “Thanks for being here for me, Muru.”
“I’m glad I can help just by existing.”
“You know, I feared we would have a long-distance relationship for a moment there when Em said I was being traded,” I let out a slow breath. “I'm not ready to let go of you.”
“Good, because I feel the same. I also know we’ll get through this together,” Vivian promises and kisses me before moving her hand down my body.
“Muru, if you don’t stop, I don’t know if I can leave this bed before I make you scream my name.”
“Then you better try your hardest,” my temptress says as she reaches my waistband, teasingly tracing the line of my boxer briefs with a featherlight touch.
The heat between us rises and I roll onto my back, giving her better access to my body. She straddles me, her hips grinding against mine, and I can feel my arousal growing with every move she makes. Her lips travel down my neck, nibbling and sucking on my skin, and I arch my back in pleasure. Vivian's hands roam over my chest, pinching my nipples, making me gasp in surprise. I grab her hips, pulling her soft curves against my hardness, and our mouths clash in a desperate kiss.
I break away from her lips, panting heavily, and whisper, "I need you, Vivian." And I spent the next hour showing her exactly how much.
