Page 5 of First Comes Marriage
Their relationship as husband and wife was … different. Their marriage had been arranged by family members and while they’d been married for a year – thirteen months, to be precise – they still felt like strangers. Zafar treated her like a stranger, or an acquaintance at best.
For her part, Reshma knew she’d tried. She’d made the effort to try to get to know her husband and while she’d begun to, it wasn’t because they spent time together. What she had was the kind of understanding one developed after living with another person for a period of time, learningtheir traits and habits, their likes and dislikes – the obvious ones at least.
She’d tried to fit into his established family set-up and had been successful on many fronts. But she couldn’t say that her relationship with him was any stronger than it had been this time last year when they’d been married for just a month. He was never unkind, but she sometimes got the feeling that he simply wasn’t interested.
The scent of his aftershave made its way to her, the cedarwood and sandalwood comfortingly familiar, a feeling which added to her confusion about him because this was the same man who had refused to come here when she’d asked him to and was now sitting here as though being here had always been the plan. As though she had gone through all the frustration she had since then for nothing.
She looked his way in question. ‘Was it … was this your plan all along? To come out here and surprise me?’
In the soft light of dusk, she could see the twin dark pools of chocolate that were his eyes, looking straight at her with an intensity she wasn’t familiar with from him. There was a small nick on his chin where he’d probably cut himself while shaving and she could see faint lines of tiredness bracketing his eyes and mouth. She curled her tingling fingertips in towards her palm, resisting the urge to reach out and touch him.
He was still looking at her intently and she saw his eyes moving from her hairline to her eyes, across her face and then down to her lips. On instinct, she wanted to run her tongue across them but held it firmly behind her teeth, swallowing instead as goosebumps rose on her arms.
His eyes moved down her, presumably taking in her purple sari. She wondered if he remembered it. She’d worn this sari at Daadi’s birthday party last year and hadtaken her time getting ready and making sure everything was on point, only for Zafar to have his eyes glued on his watch when he’d come into the room to tell her it was time that they made a move and then walked straight back out of the door.
She’d been pretty miffed but hadn’t said anything. Maybe if she had …
There she went again, on the same thought journey she had been on since he’d refused to come here with her when she’d first asked him to.
Maybe if she had said or done things differently, then their relationship wouldn’t be where it was right now.
But surely the onus wasn’t only on her to make a success of their marriage, was it?
‘Huh?’
Reshma’s eyebrows lowered as she regarded him, trying to bring her thoughts back to the moment. ‘I asked if this was your plan all along. To surprise me.’
He gave her a small smile but shook his head. ‘No,’ he said quietly, his voice a low rumble. ‘It was decided after you left.’
3
Zafar
With a will of iron, Zafar stopped himself from squirming in his seat. The look of patent curiosity paired with an earnestness he found disarming was directed towards him and there was nowhere to hide and nothing to distract Reshma from this line of questioning.
He had known to expect it. He knew that at some point she would ask him what he was doing in Mombasa and he’d have to give her some answer. And, to be fair, it was a perfectly valid question because when she’d asked him to come with her, he’d refused.
With work being the primary focus of his life for the past four years, putting it aside was something he found almost impossible. Because if he wasn’t being consumed by his work, then guilt would rear its ugly head and take its place. He’d allowed work to become his all in the past four years, giving it everything of himself because it helped keep his demons at bay. He’d not even allowed Reshma to distract him.
Coming out here without any link to his work – thanks to his father practically confiscating his work gear as though he were a recalcitrant teenager – meant his time was his own and he had no idea what he was going to do to fill it, aside from joining in with the various wedding celebrations.
He knew he ought to tell Reshma the truth, but now wasn’t the time for that. He didn’t want any potential upsets between them to cause any disruption to her cousin’s wedding, even a small one. He didn’t know how Reshma would react. She might take it all in her stride, or she might be unhappy. It made sense, therefore, to have this dinner and then he could tell Reshma how he had ended up being there at his father’s say-so at a more appropriate time.
He could still feel the heat of the disappointed look his father had cast his way when he’d found out that Zafar hadn’t accompanied Reshma. His grandmother had gone straight for the jugular and used the D word.I have to say, Zafar sweetheart, I’m disappointed.He’d not felt that uncomfortable in a long time.
They weren’t exactly wrong, especially when his grandmother had pointed out the lengths Reshma went to forhisfamily. From day one, she had made an effort with everyone and – aside from his mother’s slight antagonism towards his wife, simply for the reason that she thought Reshma wasn’t good enough for him and she had wanted Zafar to marry her best friend’s daughter – she got along pretty well with them.
Reshma always went above and beyond for his family, especially his grandmother, who doted on Reshma. She’d never made him feel like doing anything for him or his family was a big deal, but that was exactly what he had done to her and he didn’t feel all that great about it. What made it worse was the fact that he still hadn’t come here of his own accord, he’d been made to by his father and grandmother.
That thought settled in his gut like a lead balloon as he looked at Reshma, whose confused expression had been replaced with a tentative smile.
‘Thank you. Both for coming and for surprising me. It’s actually really sweet.’
Oh, boy.
He swallowed the guilt that was now lodged in his throat and smiled back at her as best as he could. ‘Don’t thank me. I should have come when you first asked me to.’ Which – while being true – was easier said than done.
‘I do appreciate how hard you work, Zafar. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you to leave everything to be here.’ She covered his hand with hers and gave it a soft squeeze and Zafar felt his chest squeeze in response.
