Page 66 of First Comes Marriage
Mentally, she did a little jig. Her fear of being left had led her to forming her own narrative about what had happened and had caused her nothing but misery in the last twenty-four hours as she’d immediately believed that Zafar had done something when he’d made a conscious effort to do the opposite.
She felt his thumb rub the skin just above her eyebrow, smoothing it. ‘Stop thinking so hard. Everything is fine. All in order. Shipshape.’
She smiled.
It would take her time to shed her insecurities, but she would do it. There was no place for them in her life going forward. She needed to have faith and confidence in Zafar and her marriage. And, most importantly, she needed to have confidence in herself. Confidence that she was worthy of being important to someone, worthy of being someone’s priority but also worthy in herself, without any validation from another.
She wasn’t defined by her relationships or who stuck by her and who didn’t. Being true to herself had enabled her to move forward with Zafar, something she hadn’t necessarily done from the start with him. She needed to stop letting her fear call the shots and take control of lifeand how she navigated it herself. Of course, having Zafar along for the ride was a particularly delightful bonus.
The song came to an end and she eased away from him, though he didn’t let go of her hand for the rest of the evening.
When they got back to the villa later that night, and Daadi was in her room, they made their way to the pool. Reshma went down the steps into the cool water, while Zafar dived in smoothly, coming up for air halfway down the pool’s length. Feeling more relaxed than she had in a long time, she flipped onto her back, watching the stars in the sky, the distant sound of the waves mixing in with the sound of the water as it lapped over her body.
She felt movement to her side and, a moment later, Zafar held her hand as he floated on his back next to her. She wished she could bottle the sense of peace she was feeling. It made her feel like postponing their departure and staying in their bubble for a little longer. But she knew they had to get back to normal life. She had work to get back to, as did Zafar.
‘This is going to sound crazy given the circumstances of my arrival, but I don’t think I’m ready to go back.’
She turned her head, regarding his side profile. ‘Same.’
They stayed there for a bit longer, savouring the tranquillity of the moment and their closeness, not needing to say anything, though the hum of energy around them was palpable to both.
Two days after the reception, it was time for them to leave.
Reshma had spent the previous day with Auntie Ruqayyah and the rest of the family, knowing that it would be a while before the whole family would be together like that again. Her father and his family were also there, butthe situation between them and Reshma was exactly how it had been before. There was no change there and, to be fair, she didn’t feel all that bad about it. You couldn’t really miss what you’d never had, especially when she was surrounded by others who loved her and cared for her so much more than her father ever had.
Zafar had spent the earlier part of the day with Safiya and had been in a bit of a sombre mood thereafter because she had left to go back to Nairobi with her husband and mother-in-law.
‘At least you’re going to be in touch with her now. That should make you feel better. And we can always come out and see her or vice versa.’ She knew it wasn’t enough, but she hoped, going forward, things would improve on that front. She had more optimism in her than she would have had a few weeks ago and she wanted to hold onto it.
They were on the same flight home as Uncle Jawad and his family and when they landed back in London, they were greeted by sunshine and showers, literally and figuratively. Harry and Ash were waiting in arrivals for them.
She and Zafar didn’t take long to fall into their usual domestic routine. He hit the ground running with his work, as did she. The hotel deal still hadn’t been concluded, but she knew Zafar was much calmer about it now and didn’t attach the success of it to his happiness or his relationship with his grandfather. In fact, since their return, Zafar was more mindful about what he did and what he now delegated, as he told her one evening when he’d asked Harry to accompany their father to a dinner being hosted by a business associate.
‘I need to learn the art of delegation, it’s healthy for me and the others. As for skipping tonight’s dinner invite, I think it’s good for Harry to do some of these gigs. Hecan decide whether he wants to play more of a role in the business and these events make up a big part of it. Besides, I really didn’t fancy spending an evening listening to Mr Gervais sharing his life story for the hundredth time. I’d much rather keep my date night promise to you.’
‘So, I’m preferred company to Mr Gervais? That’s good to know,’ she said deadpan, though she was pleased that they’d managed to keep the connection they’d forged, and it was getting stronger by the day.
‘You are no competition for Mr Gervais. His level of dull is unparalleled. Ask Harry when he gets home.’
She scowled at him as he gave her a lopsided grin, his dimples coming out to say hello.
‘You’re preferred company to everyone else, my love. Always.’
He reached across the table and linked his fingers with hers but had to pull away a moment later when their waiter brought their starters. Zafar had brought her to a seafood restaurant in Mayfair for their first date night since they’d come back from Mombasa as a nod to their thwarted date out there.
‘I have to say, I’m impressed, Mr Saeed. Mombasa to Mayfair. Not shabby at all.’
‘I’m glad you approve, Mrs … Ms … What did you decide?’
‘I’m Mrs Reshma Mir-Saeed. I’m me and I’m also married to you.’
‘I like that. It’s perfect.’
They tucked into the starters.
‘Guess who messaged me today?’ she asked as she broke off a piece of bread.
‘Umm, Saleema?’
