Page 62 of First Comes Marriage
‘I can go?’
‘No, it’s fine. Won’t take me long.’ She was feeling restless anyway, maybe some fresh air would do her good. She would also get to see if Zafar was getting ready for the reception or to go to the airport, though she didn’t know what she’d say to him.
She knew she probably looked very strange walking around the complex dressed up like she was, but she needed to clear her head. She took the long way back, walking almost the entire perimeter of the complex before finding herself back on the path towards her villa.
The best thing for her to do would be to speak to Zafar. There was no sense working herself up into a tizzy without having all the information. It could well amountto nothing. And if not … well, at least she’d know for sure then.
She was about twenty metres away when she saw Zafar pull the front door of the villa closed, dragging his small suitcase behind him. He made his way purposefully towards the gate and got into a car. The engine started up and before she could take a step in his direction, the car moved off.
He’d gone. He’d left her.
Without so much as a goodbye. Without looking back even once.
Reshma felt the breath she had taken lodge in her chest and when the edges of her vision went hazy, she pulled in a shuddering breath.
He’d left her. He’d gone.
She had thought she’d felt pain when she’d found out that he’d come here under duress, but that was nothing compared to the pain now unfurling in her chest and spreading its poisonous tentacles throughout her body until she felt it in every single cell, in every fibre of her being.
She staggered a few steps towards a low wall on the side of the path and lowered herself onto it, careless of the fact that it might dirty her clothes.
He’d left her. He’d gone.
She shouldn’t have let him suck her into a false sense of security. When she’d found out the truth behind his arrival, she should have stuck to her guns and kept her distance from him. But she hadn’t and now she was paying the price for it. He’d proved, beyond all doubt, that she was not, and never would be, his priority.
She didn’t know how long she sat there for. It couldn’t have been that long because no one had come across her while she’d been sitting there in a daze as her reality crashed over her with each breath she took and she wasvery grateful for that. She wasn’t sure what she might have said or how she would have explained why she was sitting there like that, short of the fact that Zafar had left.
Slowly, Reshma got up and, on leaden legs, she went back to her aunt’s villa. Uncle Jawad was standing outside on the phone and when he saw her, he frowned. She walked past him and into the villa, which was a hive of activity. Her aunts were running to and fro and she spotted Daadi sitting in the garden through the patio door with Uncle Imtiaz’s mother.
Reshma lowered herself onto the sofa, her head pounding and her hair feeling too tightly arranged. She reached up to see if she could loosen some pins, only to find the mass of it was in loose waves and not in an updo. The only pins in her hair were the ones holding her maang tikka in place.
‘What do you think?’ She looked up and found Haniya standing in front of her, showing off her hair and make-up.
Reshma tried but couldn’t muster a smile for her.
Haniya was instantly on high alert. ‘What is it? What’s happened? I thought you went to grab your things.’
‘I did. That is, I went to go and get my things, but on the way there I saw Zafar leaving with his suitcase. He’s gone,’ she said numbly.
‘What?! Did he say anything?’
Reshma shook her head. ‘No. I heard him on the phone yesterday. Ibrahim called him to tell him about a problem at work and then later I heard Zafar saying he needed to get back to London as soon as possible. So, he’s gone.’
‘Without saying anything to you or anyone else? Just gone?’
Reshma nodded as Haniya shook her head.
‘I find that hard to believe.’
‘It’s not that complicated, Niya. He’s focusing on what’s important to him and I need to focus on what’s important to me.’ Impatience laced her voice.
Yes, she was heartbroken. Yes, she felt like each breath she took was like a fresh cut to her heart. The sense of abandonment and rejection which she was so familiar with surrounded her again and she felt weighed down by it. But she wouldn’t let it drown her. She would get up, get what she needed to so she was ready and then make her way to Saleema’s reception with her family.
She wasn’t angry with Zafar as much as she felt livid with herself for letting things get to the point where she’d opened herself up to being in such a position yet again. It seemed to her that she didn’t learn and each time she put herself out there, she would face such heartbreak. Though nothing would ever hurt her the way Zafar had today.
She made her way back to her villa after persuading Haniya to finish getting ready and assuring her that she was fine, at least enough to go and get the things she needed. Her bag was sitting where she’d left it on the floor beside the kitchen island. She cast a glance across the kitchen and dining table and saw evidence that Zafar had been here. The sink was half-filled with dishes, and there were used mugs and an empty plate on the dining table. She was surprised to find her phone still charging on the island and looked at the screen, only to find it still switched off. She looked at the socket and realised that she hadn’t actually switched the power on, so her phone hadn’t charged at all. Maybe Zafar had … no. He could have come to speak to her directly or called any one of her relatives and asked to speak to her.
She took the charger and phone with her and after putting her jewellery and sandals on, she went back to Auntie Ruqayyah’s villa, where everyone had gathered outside.
