Page 80 of His Arranged Duchess
Lucien felt his anger seep out of him just as rapidly as it had come. He was suddenly exhausted, his shoulders rounded andheavy as if a great weight was bound, dragging him towards the ground.
“I am not going to hit you, Benjamin. But I do need you to get out of my way. This discussion is at an end. Let’s go our separate ways and hope not to run into each other again.”
He shouldered past Benjamin, striding along the hall towards where a group of white-faced ushers waited, clearly terrified to intervene but unable to ignore the situation any longer.
“Wait!” Benjamin called, carefully modulating his voice to reach Lucien’s ears but not the ushers’. “He was going to go to the papers with what he’d learned.”
Lucien stopped dead, twisting around to look at the man who’d once been his dearest friend.
“Lord Easton?”
Benjamin nodded. “He was drunk and enraged. She’d humiliated him, he said. He knew there was something she was hiding, so he dug and dug until he found it. I’m not entirely sure how, but he knew the truth and said he had evidence to prove it. He intended to reveal all. Once he published the story in one paper, they would all take it up. The news would spread like a fire. There’d be no stopping it. ButIstopped it, Lucien. I paid him off, because even though I don’t care for your duchess, I do care foryou. You are my friend, and I would never let such a thing happen to you.” He paused, turning aside to spitout a mouthful of blood. One of the ushers tutted audibly. “I prevented you from being ruined, Lucien. Think of that.”
The exhaustion was spreading. He almost felt numb. Part of him wanted to curl up on the floor right there and then, closing his eyes and nuzzling into the soft carpet. It was a childish want, of course. Only children and fools thought that they could go to sleep and wake up to find the world different and their problems gone.
That was something the old duke had beaten out of his children very early on. He didn’t like children, or childish behavior, and made his sentiments very, very clear.
“I saved you,” Benjamin repeated, when Lucien did not immediately respond. “I saved you from being ruined.”
“No, Benjamin,” Lucien answered listlessly. “You only saved me from being ruined because you wanted to ruin me yourself. And you have succeeded, I think.”
He didn’t bother to wait for a response, turning on his heel and walking down the hallway. The group of ushers parted to let him through, staying silent as he walked past.
In the background, the song finished, and the crowd broke out in rapturous applause. It seemed that most of them, at least, had not been distracted by Lucien and Benjamin’s argument. That was good. It seemed a shame for such a beautiful piece of music to be ignored in favour of a sordid, ordinary scandal.
Lucien walked and walked, people scurrying to get out of his way. He left the theatre almost without realising. A soft, drizzling rain waited for him outside, the gentle patter drowning out the muffled sounds of applause.
He put his head down and began to walk home.
CHAPTER 26
The carriage ride home seemed to take an eternity. Frances sat very straight and rigid in the seat, staring directly ahead and trying hard to think of nothing.
The house was mostly dark when she arrived home. Already, Frances knew that when they went out, Lucien encouraged the servants to go to bed early or take an evening off, with only a few key servants staying awake to greet them when they returned. It was a thoughtful gesture, and one that most dukes would not think of doing.
She tightened her hands in the voluminous fabric of her skirts.
Stop it. Stop thinking of him. Stop thinking of the good things he has done. Face the facts, you stupid,stupidgirl.
You were never anything to him.
Frances closed her eyes. It was inevitable, really. Of course, she would begin to romanticise everything he did, to imagine it all meant more than it truly did.
His efforts to ‘woo’ her were only ever to soothe his own ideas of honour, so that when he finally bedded her and conceived the heir he so desperately needed, he would not need to feel guilty. He would not feel as though he had taken something from her.
He’ll sleep better at night that way,Frances thought bitterly.
She was not entirely sure how to proceed. Could she lock him out of her bedroom forever? A man had a right, a legal right, to take what he wished from his wife. She knew without needing to think twice that Lucien was not such a man, but no heir meant no future for the estate. The title and estate would pass to another man when Lucien died, and Frances would be left an impoverished, unwanted, useless widow.
A woman who wasted her life married to her man who never gave three straws about her.
A sob fought its way up Frances’s throat, and she clenched her teeth to keep it down, pressing her gloved hand over her mouth.
No. I will not crumble. I will not give in. Mama never did, even when she lost the love of her life and married a man she never cared for. Mama was strong. Mamaisstrong, and so am I.
She had considered going straight to Mama’s house and telling her the whole story, but quickly rejected the idea. She knew what Mama would say.
Go back to your husband. Reconcile. It is better to be with a man you just about like and who tolerates you than to be estranged from a man who blames you for not getting what he wants.
