Page 81 of Uncovered
“Really? This is helping? Hiding out, ditching class, and listening to a loop of Lewis Capaldi songs? Yea, that's not a recipe for getting back to normal.”
“Don’t hate on Lewis. I love him and his sad, sad songs and his accent. Maybe I’ll move to Scotland just to be closer to him.”
She sits on my bed, though she’s scrunching her face up to show her displeasure at my rumpled sheets and blankets. “Sure. Solid idea. You realize that to carry out that stupid plan, you’d need to, I don’t know, get out of bed, take a shower, show some goddamn signs of life?”
“Mel--”
“Nope. Don’t “Mel” me. You, Phoebe James, are one badass bitch. I knew it the day I met you. I knew it that night you lost your shit at the party. I knew it when Ian and I warned you off Ty, but you refused to listen. We didn’t know, of course, who he was related to, but we knew he’d break your damn heart. The pretty ones always do. But did you care? Nope. Did our advice slow you down for a second? Not at all. You are fierce, babe. All the shit you’ve been through? To wake up every day and just get life done? That’s not easy, I know. But you do it. Well, you were doing it. Now, you’re just wallowing.”
I can’t lie. Her words sting, and the hurt must show on my face. “Mel.”
“I know,” she soothes, her voice taking on a rare, gentle tone. She must be channeling Ian. “I get it. You had the world flipped upside down on you in the worst way. The one person you should be able to turn to is the person responsible. It’s the worst--I know. And yea, you’re allowed to lick your wounds and take a minute. But it’s been a week. You’re not in this bed healing, Pheebs. You’re hiding. And those are two very different things.”
I burrow further in my blankets, not caring that she’s right.
“You can’t hide forever, Phoebe. You need to get back to work. You need to get to class. But more than that? You need to shower, brush your teeth, eat an actual meal. You need to start giving a shit about yourself. So get up, and get into the bathroom. You need to get out of this dorm.”
It’s the last thing I want to do, but she’s right. Work won’t wait forever. And I have no doubt classwork is piling up. The world is still turning, despite my broken heart. So, I shuffle into the bathroom, wash off the last few days, and emerge feeling no less sad, but slightly more human.
I walk into my room to see that the bed has been made and the hamper is full of dirty sheets. Laid across my bed is a pair of leggings, some underwear, a sports bra, and a hoodie.
I braid my hair quickly and get dressed. It’s no surprise to me when I walk out to the living room to see Ian sitting there holding my coat. “Mel has class, but come on, I wanna take you somewhere.”
***
We walk across campus and I’m half-afraid Ian’s going to drag me over to The Chapel, but I trust him to know I’m not ready for that. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to see Ty, much less go to his house.
We walk past the back entrance to Drip, and Willa, the new girl, is standing there with two drinks in her hands.
“Thanks,” Ian tells her for both of us before she turns to go back in.
“She seems really nice,” I say, to fill the silence.
Ian nods. “Girl’s got a lot of shit on her plate, but she’s handling all of it. Puts me to shame some days...Kind of reminds me of you.”
“Me? Ian, I just took a shower for the first time in... way too long.”
“Yeah. But you took one. Sometimes that’s what matters, Phoebe. Maybe you show up late, but you show up. There’s something to be said for that.”
Suddenly, I’m the lone recipient of one of Ian’s trauma diatribes. He’s halfway famous for them on social media, and yes, I’m a fan, but it’s a little daunting to be the center of all that focus.
I nod. “I know that, intellectually. But living it? That’s a little harder.”
“For sure.” His smile is easy as he leads me over to the tiny courtyard. We take a seat on the only bench there.
“Adjunct Faculty smoking lounge,” he tells me. “It’s always empty during the day. Now, at about six, that’s a different story. But no one will be here for a while. No interruptions, I promise.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. I’m not ready to people just yet, but it is nice to be outside in the fresh air. It’s chilly, but the sun is shining and I tip my face up to meet its rays.
“You’re gonna be okay, Phoebe, with or without him,” Ian tells me.
“Without him. There’s no other choice,” I say, a little stunned Ian would even suggest otherwise.
“You don’t miss him?”
The question catches me off guard. “Yea. Of course I do, but Ian, what he did was completely unforgivable. He lied to me, over and over again. He kept his whole freaking identity from me. And who knows, maybe it was all part of some crazy plan. Maybe his parents put him up to it.”
“Do you really think so?”
