Page 119 of Storm over the Caribbean
Ah, yes. Him. The pirate who, after kicking my non-existing bollocks, trying his best to murder me and repeatedly insulting me to my face, decided all that would make us the best of friends. And the worst of it was…
“Here, take that! I found that on the navy ship in the officers’ quarters.” Grinning widely, he handed me a bag of sweets. “After all, you can’t be the only one handing out tasty stuff, right?”
…I couldn’t stop myself from liking the bastard! He was like a big, scruffy dog that just bit you in the butt and now was giving you innocent puppy-dog eyes like he couldn’t hurt a fly.
“So, Freddy!” The aforementioned annoying canine threw an arm around my shoulder and stole another shrimp. “How are you doing on your first jaunt out onto the seven seas with our merry band of misfits?”
I opened my mouth to answer—then suddenly clutched my stomach and rushed towards the railing.
“Blluuurgh!”
“So…not that well, then.”
“Bleeeargh!”
“Ah.” Snatching another shrimp, he patted my back, then held up the bag of sweets. “You won’t be needing those anymore, I suppose?”
“Don’t you dare!”
I made a grab for the bag, and he danced out of my way, chuckling. “Now, now, no stealing. We’re all honourable people on this ship, aren’t we?”
“Despicable pirate scum!”
“There’s no need for foul language, you know? We’re all gentlemen here. Mwahahaha!”
“Up yours, you barnacle-bearded bastard!”
Was I actually bantering with a man who had tried to murder me yesterday?
I lunged for the bag again, and this time I didn’t miss. With a smirk, I lifted it in triumph. “Ha! Got it!”
“That you did!” Smirking equally widely, Jackal pulled out a whiskey bottle that looked more expensive than everything he owned put together and took a deep swig. “That you did. God, you’re an all right fellow, Freddy. I’m glad to be here with you.”
I blinked. “You are?”Why, thank you! I’d be happy to stab you a few more times if that’s how one makes a good impression on you.
“Oh aye! Lazing around, looking at the ocean while sipping a nice drink with a mate…” He took another swig. “Why do youthink I joined up with the pirates in the first place? It was all to get away from my wife. Bloody women!”
I nearly choked on a piece of candy.
Jackal nodded wisely, not surprised at my reaction. “I know, right? Women are the worst! Luckily, we’re out here in the fresh air, all alone and with no nagging wives tugging on our coattails.”
“Yes.” One of my eyebrows twitched. “Wives can be so inconvenient for men when they want to go kill and rob other people and then drink themselves into unconsciousness.”
“I know, right? No sense of fun!”
“And can you imagine what one of them might do if she were here right now, listening in on us?”
Jackal shuddered. “Don’t! I don’t even wanna think about it.” He took another, significantly deeper, swig of whiskey. “Trust me, Freddy, don’teverget involved with women! They’re nothing but trouble!”
“Are they now?”
“Oh aye! Don’t you ever let some hussy draw you in with her honeyed words!”
“I think the chances of that are rather remote.”
***
Once both ships were sufficiently repaired, we returned to the pirate camp fairly quickly. That probably had a lot to do with the half a dozen injured crew members we currently had on board. When we reached the encampment, I was ordered to boil some rags for bandages, and they were taken by an emaciated man with a manic grin on his face and various metal implements in his claws. Probably a torturer. There was a remote possibility that he was a doctor, but the screams that came from the tent full of injured pirates suggested otherwise.
