Page 117 of Storm over the Caribbean
Right then, the first mate clapped his hands. “All right, all right! Calm down, boys! Everyone, put down the lad and grab the booty!”
“Aye aye, Sir!”
“Notthatbooty! Let go of my arse, you bloody idiot!”24
“Um…right away, Sir!”
“And send those redcoats to Davy Jones’ locker!”25
“Aye aye, Sir!”
After that, things went rather fast. A quick check of our own ship revealed that the cannonball indeed had only grazed us. The damage was patched up, and a part of the crew was redirected to the other ship, which had now been commandeered as part of the pirate fleet.
Mr Ambrose was among those ordered to return to the original vessel. When he returned to the pirate ship, another cheer went up, and hands rained down on him from all directions, clapping his back and shoulders.
“Great job!”
“You got your sea legs fast, matey!”
“You, too, Freddie! Come on up!” Suddenly, I found myself tugged up onto the deck, and my back was assaulted by heavy slaps. A moment later, the wickedly grinning face of Jackal appeared in front of me. “Saw you take a pot shot at those bloody redcoats! Good one, Fatty!”
My eyelid twitched. “Why…thank you. I don’t know what to say.”
Because non-verbal violence is so much more satisfying.
“For a moment there, I thought you were just gonna sneak below deck and hide in a corner like a coward. But you proved me wrong, Fatty! You’ve got backbone! Almost as much as you’ve got fat. Ha!”
“Thank yousomuch.”
Could I maybe duel him again? Would Gaptooth mind if I killed off one of his men?
“Don’t worry about it!” He threw an arm around my shoulder, clamping my arms to my side and thus avoiding a knife to the gut. “The least I can do is teach the fresh meat the ropes! Get it? Fresh meat? Because you’re fat?”
“Hilarious. I can hardly contain my laughter.”
“Well, I can’t!” With one more burst of laughter, he gave me a last slap on the back and then strolled off to share his amazing joke with everybody else. Good thing, too. Five seconds more, and I probably wouldn’t have been able to resist going for his throat.
And speaking of people I wanted to strangle to death…
“You!” Fuming, I stalked towards a certain despicable pirate / businessman / husband. Stabbing a finger into his chest, I glared up at him with the ferocity of a pissed-off grizzly bear. Apregnantgrizzly bear. “Don’t you dare pull stunts like that again, do you hear? Don’t you dare!”
“Certainly not.”
“Good!”
“Next time, I shall use a completely different one.”
Don’t strangle! Don’t strangle! Don’t strangle!
Although…I was among pirates. Could it be that strangling was socially acceptable?
“Ha!” My thoughts were interrupted by a guffaw, and I turned around to see Jackal pointing at the both of us. “You two are like an old married couple.”
All the other pirates burst out laughing.
“Ha, ha,” I said. “Ha.”
“Ha,” Mr Ambrose agreed, icily. Which, all things considered, was probably the closest he had ever come to laughing.
