The mayor swallowed.
“I, ehem, did, Señor. I really did. I must say your offer of…” He glanced down at the single cent on the desk. “…generous campaign donations is very much appreciated, but…”
Mr Ambrose’s eyes narrowed infinitesimally. “But?”
Behind him, Karim stepped into the room, towering over anything and everything.
“It…is not as easy as you have suggested. I…have my previous backers to consider, and—”
“Your previousSpanishbackers?” Eyes intent, Mr Ambrose placed his hands on the desk, leaning forward towards Mayor Velazquez. “The diplomatic relationships between England and America are quite good these days. But America and Spain…? The world’s mightiest democracy on the one hand, and a crumbling empire clinging to the last remnants of its power on the other. Add to that the little fact that the United States has been eying Cuba and secretly supporting righteous freedom fighters all over South America… How do you think they will react when they find out one of their elected officials has been taking campaign donations from Spanish officials?”
By now, sweat was running in rivulets down the man’s temples. He really did take his role as mayor seriously. Providing this much water for a desert town, all by himself? How admirable.
“Um, Señor Ambrose, now listen here!” The mayor drew himself up to his full height. “You cannot just come into my office and accuse me of—”
“Oh, excuse me,” Mr Ambrose cut in. “How could I imply such a terrible thing. My apologies.”
The mayor sagged, relief spreading over his face.
“I shouldn’t have said ‘campaign donations’,” Mr Ambrose continued, his eyes boring icily into the smaller man. “I meantbribes.”
“Gfngrx,” the mayor said.
“I heard you’ve been signinga lotof land grants recently.” Reaching into his pocket, my dear husband pulled out a stack of folded, official-looking papers. Papers, I was pretty certain, he was not supposed to have gotten his hands on. With athump, they landed on the desktop. “A piece of land, granted away, formerly owned by Mr Ellis Swan. Another piece of land, granted away, previously owned by Mrs Margaret Linden. Another piece of land, granted away, previously owned by a…Mr Rikkard Ambrose.”
The flood gates opened, and the rivulets of sweat on the mayor’s temples turned into massive waterfalls.
“Hm…a name just like mine.” Mr Ambrose leaned forward a little more, until his glittering, arctic eyes were only inches away from the mayor’s. “Odd. Considering I never sold a single inch of my land in this town.”
“Well, you see, Mr Ambrose, sere, ehem…sere is a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of sis, and it is…it is…”
“Yes?”
Velasquez opened and closed his mouth like choking goldfish, no sound coming out.
“So,” my spiffing spouse resumed, continuing to spear the pudgy man with his gaze. “No answer to the accusation?”
Silence.
“I see.” He gave a nod. “That is troubling. Well then…I must ask, as a concerned citizen, how such a terrible crime could possibly occur, and what you were planning to do in recompense.”
At that last word, the door behind us opened, and more men stepped into the room, discreet bulges underneath their tailcoats betraying the fact that they were either armed or thinking of something very inappropriate outside a bedroom. My bet was on the former. The men took up posts on either side of Mr Rikkard Ambrose, fixing their dark glares on the poor mayor.
“Ehem. Um. I don’t know…can’t really say…”
“Not to worry.” Reaching out, Mr Ambrose placed a reassuring hand on the mayor’s shoulder. The fact that, underneath the pressure of his fingers, the man’s bones seemed to be creaking, was surely pure coincidence. “I have the perfect solution for you.”
“Y-you do?”
“Oh yes.” He nodded, his grip tightening. With his other hand, he grabbed the land grant document with his name on it, crumpled it up, and tossed it over his shoulder. Karim caught it, and tore it into tiny pieces.
It suddenly occurred to me…was that the original?
I looked at Mr Ambrose.
Oh, it most definitely was.
“My solution is simple. From now on, you do whatever I say, whenever I say.” Pulling aside the pile of documents, my dear husband once more revealed the single coin on the table. “As for bribes…”