Page 59 of Storm of Bells
‘Well…ehem…’ Aunt Brank hesitated. Shehadsaid that. Repeatedly. Loudly. And now it had happened.The only problem was, in her imaginings, it had always beenshewho miraculously managed to arrange a marriage to someknight or colonel for poor, hopeless little me. Then she wouldgloat for the next two dozen years and share the story with all herfriends, lording it over me.
Now, however, I had gone and somehow caughtmyself a husband. What’s more, one who was richer and higher up onthe social ladder than my aunt could ever have imagined. And theworst thing was: she still had no bloody clue how the heck I haddone it!
I sympathized. I really did. For about twoseconds. Then I returned to the business of taking my sweet, sweetrevenge.
‘Please.’ Batting my eyelashes again, I tookher bony hand in mine. ‘I couldn’t do this without you.’
After all, the victim needs to bepresent.
‘Well, if you put it like that…’
‘Excellent! Let’s go. The others will bewaiting for us.’
Aunt Brank blinked. ‘O-others?’
‘Oh yes,of course. Didn’t I mention that?’ Another round of innocenteyelash-batting. Holy moly, I was good at batting. Maybe I shouldtry out for a local cricket team.[14]‘We’remeeting a few friends before we leave, and—’
That very moment, the sound of the frontdoorbell echoed through the house.
‘Oh, that should be them. Shall I let themin?’
My aunt harrumphed. ‘Your friends, eh? I knowwhat kind of “friends” you surround yourself with, Lillian Linton.Are you sure those friends will be able to behave themselves in thehigh-class fashion establishments we shall be frequenting?’
‘Oh, I’m pretty sure.’
‘Very well, then. Let them enter.’
I pulled open the door and, with a broadsmile, gestured in the two ladies waiting outside. ‘Come in, comein! Your Ladyships, may I introduce my aunt, Mrs Hester MahuldaBrank. Aunt, it is my pleasure to introduce Lady Adaira LouiseJannet Melanie Georgette Ambrose, sister to my intended, and hermother, Lady Samantha Genevieve Ambrose, The MarchionessAmbrose.’
The two ladies curtsied with perfect poise.‘Delighted to make your acquaintance, Mrs Brank,’ the marchionessgushed. ‘I’ve been longing to meet you. You must tell me how youmanaged to raise your niece to be such a wonderful, warm,well-mannered young lady.’
‘Wrx,’ my aunt said.
I nudged her with my elbow, whereupon herreflexes kicked in and she managed to sink into a wobblycurtsy.
‘Very interesting,’ Adaira nodded soberly, alittle devil dancing in her eyes. ‘I must say that I hadn’t heardof the wrx parenting method before. I must try it on my futurechildren.’
Have I mentioned that I love this girl?
‘Well, shall we?’ I asked and, before my dearaunt could awake from her paralysis, linked arms with her. ‘I’msure the horses are getting antsy.’
‘H-horses?’ Aunt Brank demanded, shaking herhead as if waking from a dream only to find herself in a nightmare.‘What horses?’
‘Oh, didn’t I mention that? The marchionesswas kind enough to offer us her coaches for the day.’
‘Coaches? Plural?’
‘Certainly. I told you all my friends wouldbe coming didn’t I?’
That very moment, the door flew open andFlora, Eve and Patsy stormed in, the former two with big, beaminggrins on their faces, the latter with a big, weapon-grade parasolin hand. Just then, Ella appeared at the top of the stairs, and themoment she saw my friends, she clapped her hands in joy and camerushing down. The next moment, they were all crowding around me.Beaming, I turned towards my dear aunt.
‘Auntie? I trust you remember Flora, Eve andPatsy?’
Poor Aunt. She couldn’t help it. It was aninstinctive reaction. Her bony cheeks reddened, and she raised atrembling finger, pointing at my friends. ‘You…out with you, all ofyou, you load of good-for-noth—’
Then, suddenly, she cut off, and her wideeyes flew to the marchioness and her daughter, both of whom werewatching with slight frowns on their faces.
‘Um…I meant, out with you, all you good,fortunate girls. We have shopping to do.’
