Page 125 of Storm of Bells
‘Ha! I don’t envy the poor goose who’ll getdat job.’
‘Excellent.’ I clapped a hand on hershoulder. ‘Envying yourself could end up being rathercomplicated.’
It took a moment or two for the penny todrop. Probably because it was one of Mr Ambrose’s pennies, and hewas reluctant to let go.
‘W-what? You can’t mean…!’
An evil smile spread across my face.‘Actually, I can. It’s my wedding, remember. Girls? Get her!’
Clothes Do Not Make theMan, but Catch Lots of Them
Grinning, Cora andJenny made a grab for her. Amy avoided them with a frantic leapback, panic spreading across her face as she stared at the dress infront of her. ‘But…I can’t wear something likethis!’
‘You’re right.’ Nodding thoughtfully, Imarched around the gown, eyeing it critically. ‘The basic look isnice, but it lacks a certain something. It needs a littleimprovement. Maybe some nice borders, a little lace, and definitelysome pearls to go along with it.’
Amy retreated another step. ‘What? Pearls?No!’
‘Would you prefer diamonds?’
‘No, no! I can’t wear anything like that!’She slowly began retreating, only to suddenly find herself blockedfrom behind by Ella and Adaira. ‘I couldn’t possibly! I couldn’t,I—!’
‘Nonsense! My maid of honour needs to beappropriately attired.’And she needs to be shown that there’smore to the world than what she’s used to, if she would just accepta helping hand.
Amy tugged at her hair, hard, clearly tryingto improve her hairstyle. It couldn’t possibly be because she wasexasperated with me, now, could it?
‘I ‘ateto point dis out to ye,’ Amy said in the kind of slow voice you useto explain to toddlers that 1 plus 1 does not equal 11, ‘butusually, a maid of ‘onour ‘as to be amaid. Maid as in nofunny business in Cockadoodle Lane?[25]That’s wherethe title comes from.’
‘Well…’ I grinned at her. ‘It’s lucky thatI’m not your usual kind of girl, isn’t it?’
Before she could utter one more word ofprotest, I signalled my reserve troops. Ella and Adaira, flanked byPatsy and Eve, swooped in and each grabbed one arm. Ha! She mighthave dodged the first attack, but she was helpless in the face ofmy elite paladins of the parasol!
‘Hey! Wait! What are you doing? Youcan’t—’
‘Just go with the flow,’ Ella advised.
‘The flow being the direction in which I’mmarching,’ Patsy added with a stern stare.
Together, we dragged the protestingprostitute over to the centre of the room, where Cora was alreadywaiting in line.
‘Please, Miss?’ Mrs Jenkins pointed at thestool in the centre of the room. ‘Would you be so kind?’
Looking confused, Cora climbed onto the stool‘Like dis?’
‘Yes, exactly, Miss.’ Pulling something outof a pocket, Mrs Jenkins stepped forward and raised her handstowards Cora’s chest. ‘Now let me just—’
‘Oy!’ Jumping back off the stool, Cora waggeda finger at the woman. ‘No touchin’ without paying, lady!’
Heat flushed Mrs Jenkins’ face. Amy gloweredat her friend. Somewhere in the background, someone—most likelysomeone whose name started with A and ended with daira—was tryingto suppress their snickering.
Lady Samantha delicately cleared her throat.‘I, um, believe she only means to take your measurements, Cora,dear.’
‘Oh.’ Cora blinked. ‘Really? That’s all?’ Sheglanced down at the bulbous protuberances that were going to makefor one bloody impressive measurement, as if to askThat’s allshe wants? What’s wrong with these? They still worked well enoughyesterday.‘Are you sure?’
‘Quite sure.’
‘Oh.’ Cora climbed back onto the stool again.‘Well…go ahead, I guess.’
With a martyred expression on her face, MrsJenkins stepped forward and started measuring. All the while, Amystruggled against my friends’ hold, but by now Patsy had gotten afirm grip on her, and no one escaped the clutches of the dreadedwielder of the parasol.
