Page 88 of Derailed
“I don’t know what state I was bornin.”
She glances up and her eyes widen with the lift of her brow. “Oh?”
“Yeah, but I grew up in the foster care system in Utah, so maybe there?” A weight I didn’t realize I was carrying lightens with just those words. I know it will lead to everything being exposed. To the truth. But I’ve already lived it, and nothing could be worse than that. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what Coy told you but I don’t have any documentation. The last home I was in . . . it wasn’t a good place. There was an accident. After that, Ileft.”
“But you’re overeighteen?”
“I’m twenty-five.”
“Well, thank fuck for that.” Bedo rolls his eyes and it only exacerbates the shame I carry for being such a screw-up.
Erika’s lips press together and she reaches over to rest her hand on my shoulder. “How have you been living all this time without proper ID? Didn’t you ever contact thestate?”
“I left before I turned eighteen with a . . . friend. I couldn’t go back because I couldn’t afford to. I never looked back. It wasn’t a place I considered home. I was barely scraping by before Coy . . . before wemet.”
“Okay, so this might prove a little more problematic. But I’m certain we can get things in order.” Erika smiles and snaps her notebook shut with a nod to Bedo. I don’t know if I should believe her, but I do appreciate herkindness.
Bedo purses his lips and gives his head a little shake. “Anything else we should know, Jess? Before we start digging around on your behalf? We’re going to take care of this, because for some reason Coy insists you come along with him on this tour, but if we’re walking into a shit storm, a heads up sure would benice.”
“It helps to get a jump on what the press might dig up.” Erika watches me like a hawk and it takes everything in my power not to panic.I’m a nobody. Why would the press care aboutme?
Memories crash in my mind and threaten to drown my focus, but I don’t allow the fear to rule me. Not anymore. My lips part to speak, but before I can, Bedo’s phonerings.
He glances down at the screen. “Excuse me, I need to take this.” Pushing from his chair, he walks out of the room. “Please tell me you have good news thistime.”
There’s a brief moment of silence and I glance down at my hands clenched together in mylap.
“God fucking hell!You have got to be kidding me!” Erika and I meet each other’s stare as Bedo’s words carry down the hall. “Well, then, fucking find him!” He cusses again before re-appearing in the doorway. “Erika, we’re gonna have to table this for now. I need you on something else.Now.”
“Sure thing, Bedo. What’sup?”
He glances at me and I get the impression he’d rather I leave, but since he doesn’t ask, I stay put. “Iz checked himself out ofrehab.”
“What?” Both Erika and I say at the sametime.
“Fucking hell.We do not need this shit. I am so close to . . .” He pinches his eyes shut and rubs at his temples before reopening them. “Never mind. The priority is tracking down Iz and getting him back where hebelongs.”
“I’m on it, boss.” Erika pulls open a laptop and beginstyping.
“Shouldn’t we tell Sean?” The words blurt from my mouth and Bedo cocks his head as his eyes land on me.Shit.“I mean, and the rest of theband.”
He raises an eyebrow with an unwavering stare. “They know where he went? I had the impression they were no longer on speaking terms withIz.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. I wave him off and push to my feet. “Oh, yeah. Sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten in themiddle—”
“That’s right, Jess. Stay out of this. We will handle it. It’s what we do best.” He holds my stare and it takes everything in me to not melt under the pressure, but I refuse to look away first. “We’re done for now. You cango.”
“Right. Thanks,” I offer lamely, and beeline out of the room. My cell is tucked in my back pocket. Waging the struggle between what’s right and wrong, my fingers itch to dial Sean. He left because he can’t stand to be around me. He asked for time and space. But as I step outside and shut the door behind me, I decide to go against his wishes as well asBedo’s.
I stroll in the opposite direction of the garden until I’m under the shade of a tree before calling. It doesn’t even ring threetimes.
“Jess?”
“Sean, I . . . I’m sorry for calling. I just . . . There’s something I think you shouldknow.”
“Is everything okay?” His voice is laced with concern and it only makes my heart ache more. I miss him. “Are youokay?”
No. I’m not, but this isn’t about me.“Iz. He checked himself out of rehab. He’smissing.”
