Page 83 of Derailed
24
Sean
My plane landsin Columbus and I catch an Uber to my parents’ home. Growing up, we moved around a lot for my dad’s work. When they relocated to Ohio, I was already out of high school and traveling with Three Ugly Guys. But there are little things—the throw blanket my mom crocheted for the back of the couch; the canvas painting of fruit above the kitchen table; the lingering aroma of baking bread—that are reminiscent of the home I grew upin.
“Sean!” My mother wraps her arms around me. “It’s so good to see you,Son.”
“It’s good to see you too. Dad atwork?”
“Yeah. He’ll be home soon. I’m glad you messaged me because I had my book club and would have been at Lisa’stonight.”
“You don’t have to change your plans,Mom.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She waves me off and walks into the kitchen. “It’s not every day my boy comes to visit. I invited your sister over fordinner.”
I take a seat on the barstool and she pours us both a glass of iced tea. “Mira still with that one guy?” My lips pull up with a smile as my mom’s hands go to herhips.
“No. I swear that girl can’t keep a man to save her life. Meanwhile, Becca can’t stop popping out little ones.” She acts put off, but we both know thetruth.
“Like you don’t love having four grandkids?” My oldest sister has lived all over, but her husband is currently stationed in Hawaii. By the photos she texts us all weekly, I don’t think she’s ever gonna want toleave.
My mom takes the seat next to me and with a smile she pats my hand. “I love my grandbabies, but they’re too far away and we don’t visit often enough.” There’s a sadness in her eyes and a good dose of guilt punches me in the gut for not doing better. Eva can’t help the distance because her husband is in the Marines, but I should show up rather thancall.
“I’m sorry I don’t visit more often.” My brow furrows and I trace shapes into the condensation on myglass.
“Don’t. We raised you all to chase your dreams, wherever they lead. Your dad and I are so proud of you, Sean.” Her arm wraps around my shoulders and she gives me a brief squeeze before leaning back into her chair and taking a drink. “Besides, you’re herenow.”
“That I am.” I tip my glass up and take a long swallow, trying not to remember exactly why I felt the need to hop on a plane. It’s no use, though; all I think about isJess.
“Not that I don’t love my favoriteson. . .”
“Onlyson.”
“Favorite son. What do we owe the pleasure of this spontaneous visit? Everythingokay?”
“It’s fine.” I lie because I can’t burden my mom with this. Her eyes hold a weariness as it is and I don’t want to disappoint her. “I missed you guys, and sometimes . . . I guess sometimes I need help remembering who Iam.”
“Sean.” She stands and gives me a hug from the side and drops a kiss on the back of my head. “You are a goodman.”
That right there is why I can’t spill my problems to my mom. A good man wouldn’t sleep with another man’s girlfriend. Or at least he’d have the decency to feel shame afterward. I’m not that good of a man. The admiration and pride in my mom’s eyes is something I can’t takeaway.
“Now . . . I already made those rolls you love, the steaks are marinating, and we’ll have potatoes and corn. Your dad’s bringing home a pecan pie because I didn’t have time to whip oneup.”
A chuckle escapes my lips and my stomach rumbles with the mere mention of my favorite foods. “You spoil me, Mom.” I’m gonna have to run extra hard tomorrow morning so my pants stillfit.
“That’s my job.” She grins and points down the hall. “I made up the guest bed, but didn’t have time to clear the closet, though it doesn’t look like you broughtmuch.”
“It’s fine, Mom. Honestly, it’sperfect.”
Mom works in the kitchen, and as usual, she refuses my help. I don’t argue with her as it’s pretty much useless. She enjoys cooking and baking, and this is her way of showing love. Between work she shares stories of my nieces and nephews, and I almost feel normal again. This is what time with my family does. This is why I’mhere.
She slides the potatoes in the oven and sets a timer for an hour just as the front doorslams.
“Hey, Mom! It’sMira.”
“In the kitchen!” My mom holds her finger over her lips andwinks.
“What smells so goo—” It’s all I can do not to laugh as my sister’s gaze finds mine. “What the—? Sean! I didn’t know you were coming home!” My sister shouts, drops her bag, and closes the space between us until her arms squeeze my waist. “It’s sure good to see you, littlebrother.”
