Page 110 of My Undead Heart
“Yeah, I’ll be there.” I try for a smile but it falters. I just can’t get myself excited about much of anything anymore. Even my trip back home for Christmas seemed lacking.
“Smile, Kitten. You’ve got everything you’ve always wanted,” Jared says and he’s right. ProjectXdebuted as one of the highest grossing games of all time. It was on every hot buy and must-have list for the holiday rush. Everyone at EverSoft received generous bonuses, and I even got a raise after rumors our competitor was looking to poach me from the company. There’s no way I would have left. I’ve been with EverSoft since starting out after college. I’m literally working my dream job. But still ...
There’s something missing. If I’m honest, that something is a two hundred and twenty pound wall of muscle. I miss his smile. I miss his laugh. And of course, I miss the way he made love to me. It was love, it had to be, because nothing before him ever came close to comparison. But I can’t be with someone like him. Someone who has a temper and strikes out at his own father. That alone scared me enough to realize as much as I might love Matt, he’s not the man for me. And if Matt’s not it, I doubt there is a man out there.
“God, she’s doing it again.” Rae sighs and her frown in back.
“What?” I glance around, not sure what she means.
“Are you okay, Mia?” Jared’s stare matches his sister’s concern.
“I’m fine. Sorry, my mind was somewhere else.”
Jared’s brows rise and he pins me with his judgment. “More like on someone else. Mia, when are you going to suck it up and call him?”
I shake my head. “I’m not going to do that.”
Rae reaches across the booth to hold my hand. “I don’t understand. What went so wrong that you can’t figure it out?”
Jared nods, his smile still missing. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I miss happy Mia.”
I never told either of them exactly what happened. I didn’t want their opinion. It didn’t matter. I know myself and what I’m not able to handle. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay? I’m moving on. In my own time. Let me have that.”
Jared’s jaw works back and forth a few times. He points and shakes his head. “Fine. But don’t bring that glum mug to our party. I mean it!”
I roll my eyes and laugh. “I’m not going to paste on a fake smile just because you’re having a shindig.”
“At least dress sexy. You can make the mean girl look work.”
“Thanks, I think.” I chuckle, glad he’s letting this go.
Jared’s smile is wide. “Mother knows best.”
“Logan’s coming?” I say because I can’t remember exactly when he gets back from spending Christmas in Cancun with his family. Apparently the non-lawyer’s family is loaded and still affords their grown children family vacations.
“Oh, yes he is.” Jared’s eyes grow wide with his smile. “With his hot and totally straight younger brother.” I know what he’s implying and it’s annoying as hell.
My lips pull with a forced smile. “He in the lucrative legal business as well?”
“No.” Jared laughs, but then drops his voice as if his next words hold the value of an inside stock tip. “He’s a vet, actually. And recently divorced.”
“Yay me.” I clap my hands and glare.
Jared shakes his head. “Play nice, Kitten. He’s fragile. Save your super bitch for us.”
Saved by the intrusion of hot food, our conversation turns to matters not related to my personal life, and for that I’m most thankful. I might not be excited about much these days, but I can’t deny this dinner with friends is exactly what I need. I will get over Matt Haywood even if my heart will never be the same.
This party was a mistake. I hate everything about it from the gold and silver theme—I dressed in all black—to the drunk and happy people. I especially hate people right now. I’m not a warm and bubbly person, not ever, and it’s taking everything I am to not run home and exchange my dress for comfy sweats. If it weren’t for Jared and Rae I would already be gone, but instead I’m attempting to suck it up.
Or go unnoticed. With my own personal bottle of wine, I’ve commandeered a corner of their fire escape to watch the city down below. Sure, I have to tolerate a smoker or two, but everyone’s either ignored me or I’m doing a stellar job becoming one with the side of the building. I don’t love being left alone with my thoughts, but it’s better than being subjected to the mostly top hits of the 90’s playlist their DJ is pumping. Also, I have a feeling Jared’s determined to pair me up with Logan’s younger brother and I want nothing to do with that.
Laughter, shouts, and music pour out into the night as I’m joined by another smoker. Holding as still as possible, I’m once again unnoticed.
“Hiding from the party?”
Damn it.I lift my chin and am met by the most startling pair of blue eyes. They’re so blue, I almost wonder if they’re contacts, and they’re attached to a very attractive, well-dressed man. Must be one of Rae’s co-workers. I’ve never seen him before.
“No.” His lips pull up with a half smirk as if he knows I’m lying. “Maybe.” I shrug and when he doesn’t look away I finally admit, “Yeah.”
