Page 95 of My Undead Heart

Experience has shown me that sometimes in life, when times are especially difficult, there are unexpected glimmers of peace within the adversity. A light to the darkness. Solace amongst madness. That’s exactly what Mia has become for me. She’s the home I look forward to every night after work.

Okay, sure, I’m officially homeless at the moment, but she doesn’t know that. It’s not the reason she invites me over to make love and sleep by her side until I have to leave again. I actually don’t know her reason for welcoming me in, but I’m not a fool to question the good thing we have going. I like to think it’s because I give her the same consolation she provides me.

Besides, if I show her exactly how I feel in these dark, honest moments of night when her limbs wrap around mine, maybe—just maybe after this fight goes right and I’m making a solid wage with the gym—there will be a right time to ask her for more. God, do I want more. I want her body, I want her heart, and most of all, I want her commitment—the one that saysI choose you and let’s build a life together.

But I’m not a complete fool. Mia’s sketchy about that stuff, so I won’t push. Not yet. Besides, we haven’t even finished our bet.

The week passes quickly with all the extra training I have to put in to prepare my guys for their fights. It’s the first time in almost a month I’m not working either of my extra jobs, but I’m still as busy. On top of that, Ricky started the week ten pounds over, so all of Thursday and most of Friday I’m by his side as he sweats and sweats and sweats to make weight.

Friday evening the weigh-ins go well and everyone goes home for a night of rest. Xavier’s focused and eerily calm for a man with his burdens. He acts so much older than his peers, but then that’s part of the reason he rises above. The young man he’s paired against tomorrow has him beat in height and experience, but there’s no doubt in my mind Xavier will walk out the victor. Maybe that’s wishful thinking, but I believe it’s fate. No one is as hungry for this win as my guy.

Mia sends me another text, as she has all week, inviting me to come over. I’m not sure my bike could turn in any direction other than her place. Especially tonight, the eve before such a crucial turning point for my business. My nerves are already begging for a hit of the relief that comes from being in her arms. For the first time this week, I don’t have to warn her I’ll be late. Her reply is still the same.

Mia: Come over. I’ll be home.

If only she knew how true that was.

I rise early Saturday and go through my fight day rituals. It’s kind of superstitious, especially since I’m not the one fighting, but for most of my life it led me to victory so I go with it. I don’t think about the one time my process failed me because that wasn’t entirely my fault.

My feet hit the pavement outside Mia’s and I cue up my playlist, the one that simultaneously pumps me up and clears my mind. It’ll be hours until the fight, but a good five mile run to the gym, a shower, and then hanging with my boys as they warm up and get into a good mental headspace is all part of the equation to success.

My run is therapeutic, and by the time I get to the gym I’m ready to take on the world. There’s so much pressure on my fighters. They’re the ones who have to fight, but it’s my responsibility to lead them to victory.

I open the gym door and disarm the security system, and my phone buzzes in my hand. Just seeing Mia’s name light up the screen with a message is cause to smile. Today’s gonna be a great day.

Mia: I fell asleep next to this hot guy but he’s gone missing.

Matt: Maybe put a tracker on him?

Mia: He keeps coming back.

She’s not wrong. I can’t seem to stay away. All week I was worried it’d be too much, spending every night in her bed, but for once I’m not worried she’ll run.

Matt: Just got to the gym. Pre-fight night rituals.

Mia: If you need any animal sacrifices I can bring Rick.

I laugh.

Matt: Poor kitty.

Mia: Don’t get me started. Meet you tonight?

Matt: Your ticket will be at the door. Text me when you get there.

Mia: OK. Don’t forget your costume.

Oh, I won’t. A surprise I whipped up last minute because of how much love she has for zombies. I only hope it makes her smile. The front door swings open and I lift my gaze to see Ricky and Xavier saunter in.

“What’s this? Early?” I tease and they both grin.

“Didn’t want to risk it. I’m too excited,” Xavier says.

“And I didn’t want to spend the day eating my feelings.” Ricky laughs, closing his eyes to groan. “Xavier wouldn’t let us stop to get donuts on the way.”

“Tomorrow, man. Tomorrow.” Xavier shakes his head. “Eye on the prize. Right, Coach?”

“That’s right. Let me catch a shower, then we’ll grab some real food,” I say and they nod. I grab my clothes from the office and think how damn lucky I am to have made it here. To this day. After such an uphill battle, I know whatever happens after this is meant to be. Whichever way the dice fall, I’m at peace with that.

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