Page 42 of Bully's Second Chance
I followed the cobblestone path into the forest and ran until my lungs gave out. The cobblestone pathway seemed to wind forever through the darkened trees and brush, but after I caught my breath, I kept going. I wasn’t sure how far I ran or how deeply into Jax’s property I had gone. But eventually, I heard the sound of rushing water. So, I kept walking until the cobblestone walkway turned into a beautiful bridge over rushing creek water.
“Wow,” I whispered.
I walked up to the hump of the bridge and peered down into the black water. Even though there wasn’t much light to be had, I could still see the bottom of the creek. There were fish swimming around and tadpoles near the embankment. The water bubbled crisp and clear before it continued on its path down deeper into the trees and palmettos. It was like I had stepped into some sort of enchanted hideaway, like a secret garden or a portal into another world. And as I stood there, listening to the night alive around me, I sighed.
Maybe I should just go home.
The idea sounded easy enough. If Jax didn’t want me around for anything other than sex, then we could do that without us living under the same roof. At least if I went back to my place, I’d have a reprieve from him. I wouldn’t have to keep walking on eggshells or wondering if my words would find a way to piss him off that I wasn’t aware of.
But with Mr. Levy progressively getting worse, I couldn’t stomach the idea of leaving his side when he needed as many people supporting him as possible.
“Dammit,” I whispered.
After enjoying the darkness, I followed the cobblestone trail back into Jax’s backyard. I was alone out there in the beautiful expanse of fruit trees and lavender sprouts, and it was oddly peaceful. There was a guesthouse at the corner of his property; the cobblestone walkway passed by it as I entered and exited the woods. But peering through the window only showed me just how barren the place was.
“There’s not even any furniture,” I murmured to myself.
After going inside and cleaning up for bed, I resolved to get a decent night’s rest that evening. But I couldn’t. If I weren’t worried about Jax, I was worried about his father, and eventually, I got up from the bed and made my way to Mr. Levy’s room. The door was cracked open, and I peeked inside, wondering if someone had beat me to the punch. But all I saw was Jax’s father lying there in bed, waiting for death while machines beeped all around him.
“I hope I’m not bothering you,” I said softly as I slipped inside. “I just can’t sleep.”
He didn’t respond, but I didn’t expect him to. I went over to the side of his bed and sat down where I had sat so many times over the past couple of weeks. I took his hand in mine, trying not to shiver at how cold it was, and as I leaned back against the chair, I threaded my fingers with his before my lips ran away from me again.
“I don’t know how much you know about what went on with my parents, but it was pretty rough,” I said.
I wasn’t sure if dumping onto a practically dead man was in bad taste, but the memories bombarded my mind, and I couldn’t keep them at bay any longer.
“I remember the first time I ever saw my father hit my mother,” I said breathlessly. “It was like the wind had been ripped from my lungs. I’d never seen anything like it in my life. Only on television, really. And every time it happened, there always seemed to be someone who flew off the handle and beat the man into submission, you know? Except, no one popped out and beat my dad into submission when it happened. He just… kept beating Mom into submission.”
The words alone forced tears down my cheeks, and I let them fall. For once, I decided not to be a hypocrite and I let my emotions take over.
“I was only nine when I first thought about killing him. I mean, no one was there to save my mother, so it was my job, right?”
Silence filled the room as my tears slid down my neck.
“When I left home, I promised myself that I’d never allow someone to beat me down—literally or metaphorically. I promised myself that I’d stand on my own two feet, and I’d never allow anyone to control so much of me that they took away my power. But I wonder if I kept that promise a little too good if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I do,” Jax said.
I jumped so hard and squealed so loudly that Adelaide came barreling down the hallway. She practically swung herself into Mr. Levy’s room before Jax shooed her away, apologizing for the inconvenience. She glared at both of us, but it almost didn’t register with me. All I did was gaze wildly into Jax’s eyes as Adelaide went back to bed.
And when I knew we were alone… “How long have you been standing there?” I asked.
The sorrow in his eyes told me everything I needed to know, though. But, instead of answering me, all he did was walk into the room, close the door behind him, and then pull up a chair beside mine.
And together, we sat back down at his father’s side.
“I’m sorry, Lily.” The crack in his voice turned my eyes toward him, and I watched him watch his father. But, as he spoke, his words were for me.
It was almost as if it might have killed him to look at me and say them at the same time.
“I’m sorry that I was ever someone who added to the pain of your childhood,” he said as tears clouded his voice. “I’m sorry I never asked about the bruises, and I’m sorry I didn’t listen to the rumors around the neighborhood. I’m sorry for so many things, Lilyanna, but none more than how I spoke to you when we were children. The names I called you and the things I said. No one deserves that kind of treatment, especially someone as timid and as sweet as you. I’m so fucking sorry.”
I brushed a tear away from his cheek before I settled my hand on his shoulder. “I accept your apology, Jax.”
My words must’ve finally triggered something within him because the tears overwhelmed him. He leaned against me, his head on my chest as I leaned back, allowing him to invade me. Hearing him sob broke a part of my soul into pieces. His tears battering against the skin of my chest made my lower lip tremble. And as I slid my fingers through his hair, trying desperately to calm him down, he finally opened up to me. He finally let down his guard.
“There are days where I wish and pray and hope for my father to simply pass over to the other side so we can all be done with this pain, Lily. I have days where I wish for my father’s death. What kind of man does that make me?”
