Page 40 of Bully's Second Chance
It’s coming sooner rather than later.
“Come on,” I grumbled.
Lily shifted a bit. “What was that?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
She lifted her head. “You sure?”
Your father is dying soon. Stop focusing on other things. It’s not fair to him.
“Jax?”
I set her off to the side as anger swelled within me once more. “I need to get back inside.”
“But, Jax—”
I pushed myself out of the hot tub. “Stay out here as long as you’d like.”
“Jax, wait.”
“Just do it, all right?”
I didn’t mean to yell. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. But dammit, I was so tired of people fighting me over the stupidest shit. I looked down and saw the hurt rushing behind Lily’s eyes before she turned away. And as her back faced me, I finally understood the monster she saw within my soul.
You’re nothing but a monster to her, Jax. Leave her alone.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” I said as I walked away.
And even though she murmured something to herself, I didn’t catch it. In some ways, it probably wasn’t mine to catch in the first place.
“You can’t keep running away from things, you know,” she called out.
I paused. “What?”
She sighed, and I heard her stand up in the hot tub. “You can’t keep running just because something makes you feel. Emotion is natural, Jax. You can’t keep closing it off. It’ll consume you if you do.”
I scoffed. “You don’t know the first thing about me.”
“But I’d like to.”
I closed my eyes, forcing myself not to turn toward her. “Lily, I can’t do this.”
I heard her get out of the hot tub. “Can’t do what?”
I walked over to my towel, trying to put distance between us. “This. Whateverthisis that we’re doing. It can’t be more than that.”
“Why do I get the feeling that you’re lying to me?”
I started drying myself off. “Because you don’t like it when people tell you, ‘no?’”
But, she ripped the towel away from me and tossed it back onto the table. “I know you don’t like how some things conjure memories you’d rather forget. Memories you may or may not like. But stuffing things down isn’t a healthy way to deal with your emotions. You know this. You’re not an idiot. So, why do you insist on always acting like one?”
Her words struck me deeply. But, it didn’t deter me from my path.
“Lilyanna, I pay you to deal with my schedule, not my emotions. Understood?”
Her eyes grew ice-cold before she straightened her back. “Understood,Mr. Jackson.”
