Page 24 of Mr. Big Mistake
I almost swallowed my tongue. “What?”
“You’re a player, Brenden. A heart breaker. You cycle through women like popsicles, and when you’re done with them, they never hear from you again.”
“Kelly, you have my word that we’d remain friends. Nothing would change between us.”
“Except everything would change. That was the great thing about Clint. I had nothing with him, not even a friendship. So, there’s no getting awkward whenever he’s around because I’m not friends with him. So, he’d never be around.”
“He’ll be around now that he’s working with Zane and me.”
“But, we never hang out. And I don’t suspect we will. That was the allure of Clint. One night, very casual, as much bumbling around as I need to get the job done, and then we part ways.”
“Is that really what you want, though? Because this doesn’t sound at all like you.”
“None of this sounds like me, Brenden!”
She said it so loudly that the restaurant hushed to a low whisper. I looked around and saw people staring at us as Kelly locked her heated gaze with my face. I drew in a deep breath and forgot about my food. I reached for my water, wishing to God on high I’d ordered that whiskey instead. And after taking a small sip, I gathered my thoughts.
Don’t fuck this up.“Kelly, I--.”
“Save it, because I’ll make this really easy on both of us.”
“Fair enough.”
“I’d be too nervous with you, Brenden.”
I furrowed my brow. “What?”
She took another bite of her salad. “Hooking up with Clint was the ultimate package. I didn’t know him, I’d never seen him, I didn’t have an established relationship with him. So, if I screwed something up or tooted on him in the process or did any number of things I’m sure will eventually happen, there’s no harm involved.”
I blinked. “Farting happens during sex, sometimes. It’s normal.”
She glared at me. “Let me finish.”
“I’m sorry.”
She nodded. “With you, things would have to be forced. I’d be too nervous with you because of our history and because of our friendship. And forcing sex for the sake of having sex doesn’t sound fun.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“I mean, I don’t get why it’s such a big deal anyway. I don’t get why guys can’t just go on dates with women and be okay with cuddling and heavy petting and making out. I don’t get why they have to have sex in order to establish a relationship with a woman, nor do I understand why they struggle to tell a girl ‘hey, I’m just looking for sex.’ That statement alone would’ve saved me a lot of heartache over the years.”
“I’m so sorry, Kelly.”
“My point is, I think Roxy is right. As much as I hate the idea of just giving this to someone for the sake of doing it, it would make me more comfortable around men. If I lose my virginity, I could start telling guys, ‘I just don’t have sex until later on in things’ instead of saying ‘I don’t have sex at all.’”
“Or, and this is a novel thought, you could simply tell them you want more than sex.”
She snickered. “I do. And they lead me on anyway. Until they figure out they can’t get sex from me because I’m a virgin, and then they leave. And the cycle starts all over again.”
“So, explain to me why losing your virginity to some random guy rather than someone you know is going to help you with that situation.”
“Because throughout all of this, everyone seems to be focused on the fact that this is for someone else. When really, it’s for me.”
I paused. “So, you really do want to lose it.”
She nodded. “I do. But, guys never stick around long enough to prove to me whether or not they’re worth giving it to. And from the small interaction I had with Clint last night, he proved more to me in that regard than any man has. Including you.”
That hurt more than I wanted to admit. Her words cut deeper than I would have imagined. And I found myself swallowing a knot in my throat as I reached for my water glass to chug.
