Page 84 of Face Off
I pull Cassidy in for a bear hug, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek, thanking her. Now I have to get my shit together. I have two days once we land to devise a plan. One that involves a lot of groveling apparently.
Hayley
“You look like shit on a cracker,” Cassidy says as I answer my front door. “Have you been wearing that same pair of sweatpants since I last saw you?”
No.
Okay, maybe I have been. I’ve been home sulking, eating endless pints of Ben & Jerry’s since I walked out on my job, the game, and Brooks, two days ago. Cassidy was supposed to be in Arizona with the team as they prep for Game 7 of the finals, but for some reason, she’s here on my doorstep instead.
“Gee, thanks,” I say, stepping out of her way as she pushes into my entryway. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Arizona? The game is tomorrow. You should be in the arena, making sure Tanner isn’t screwing up.”
I handed the reins to Tanner after I walked out during Game 6. He’s more than qualified for the job, even if he’s just fresh out of med school and a bit of an airhead at times.
“I’m getting ready to head that way soon. Just had to get some things tied up here,” she says, looking around my messyliving littered with tissues and ice cream cartons. “You should come with me.”
“What! No!”
She walks into the living room and grabs some of the trash. “Seriously, Hayley. You’re never like this. Come with me. It could be a nice distraction.”
Distraction? Yeah, being in the same state and going to the game where both my exes are playing. That’s not a distraction. That’s dousing myself in lighter fluid and running into a burning building.
“Maybe not the best distraction.”
“Not for the game. For me. To help me wedding plan,” she says, walking into the kitchen and discarding the trash into the waste bin that appears to be overflowing. She lets out a strangled breath before turning to look at me. “I only have two months after the finals to get this wedding in gear. We could go dress shopping, and you could finally see the venue we picked.”
God, I’ve been such a horrible friend. I’ve been so caught up in my own drama that I almost forgot Cassidy is marrying Vince. Even if I think it’s a huge mistake, it’s my job to be there for her. Support her even if it’s wrong.
“Fine,” I say as I walk toward the stairs. “But I’m not talking to Brooks.”
She presses her lips into a firm line before releasing a breath. “Fine. But if he happens to be in the same area as us, you’d be willing to at least be cordial with him. Right?”
“I don’t think you have to worry about me. He’s the one who wants nothing to do with me.”
Cassidy chews on her bottom lip as she if she’s withholding something. But I don’t press. I don’t have theenergy to fight. I take the steps two at a time, scuffing my slippered feet to my bedroom. It looks worse than it usually does, but that’s because my entire life that I kept at Brooks’ is scattered across the room. Camden’s room isn’t much better. I left the game and packed our stuff as quickly as possible. I didn’t want to risk running into the man who broke me. So yeah, it’s now scattered throughout my room.
I pull out my carry-on suitcase and pack a few different outfits and toiletries. I catch my reflection in the mirror and cringe. Cassidy is right. I look like a dog chewed me up and spit me back out. My eyes are still red rimmed, and my hair is a matted mess. And I can’t tell whether the stench is coming from me or the two-day-old sweatpants and t-shirt I’m wearing. Probably both.
“Also, shower before we leave, please,” Cassidy says, peeking her head in my bathroom, the look as if she smelled something sour written all over her face. “You stink.”
My father insists we use his private jet after I text him that I’m going to meet Camden and them in Arizona, not for the game but to support my father. I know he’s trying to bribe me to come to the game, but I thinks it’s best I don’t. Two hours and forty-five minutes later, we touch down in Arizona.
We’re staying at the same resort from Thanksgiving. Great. Just great. That trip wasn’t exactly filled with fond memories. We unload our car and walk to our rooms. I decide to stay in a villa again, just in case Camden wants to stay with me.
Okay. So that’s a lie. I opt to stay in a villa so I can cry as loud as I want.
“You sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” Cassidy says as we reach my villa.
I stare at my lonely asylum and sigh. I should be sharing this with Brooks, but I’ve fucked that up. “No,” I say with a nod. “Being alone is what I need.” Especially when I ugly cry.
She nods before leaving me to my solitude. And solitude it is. It sucks not being here with Brooks. Having him hold me in my arms to comfort me. Tell me everything is going to be okay. But here I am. Alone because I couldn’t buck up the courage to tell the man I love who I really was.
I plop down face first on the king-size bed and let the tears fall.
God, I’m pathetic.
I have no one to blame for this but myself.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
