Page 74 of Face Off
“Fine.”
The sun is barely fully in the sky, and the Arizona heat is already wearing on me. I just want to get inside, get this test over with, and go back to my hotel room. Go back home to Seattle. But that’s wishful thinking. Once the test is done, everything I once knew will change. Everything Camden knew will change. Cam could end up living in two different states, and the thought of it all kills me.
It’s overwhelming.
Jess’ hand on my shoulder brings me out of my dazed state. “So, looks like Boyce is going to be getting his test done at the same time. That way, there’s no delay in results.”
Greeeaaat.
Just splendid.
“Hey, it’s gonna be okay. Let’s just get this over with,” Brooks says, squeezing my hand in support.
Tears burn my eyes as I give him a solid nod. Grabbing Camden, I pull him into my side as we make our way to the building’s front entrance. We pull open the door to see Boyce standing, arms crossed over his chest, a cocky smile playing at his lips as he narrows his eyes at Brooks.
Brooks’ grip tightens around my waist as we bypass Boyce altogether and check in at the front counter, then taking the seat furthest away from Boyce and—what was her name again? Addie? Abbie? Whatever. I could care less who she is. But by the way her body language is, I can tell she cares about who I am.
“Camden Richards?” the front reception calls out as Cam and I stand to meet her by the open door. “You can follow me. We’re gonna go into exam room one and get the test started.”
I nod and pull Camden close to my side as we walk back into the exam room. Camden climbs up, taking a seat on the exam table while I sit in a chair beside him. The technician lets us know she’ll be right back as she pulls the door shut.
“Mom,” Camden says, turning his head to look at me. “Am I going to have to move and leave you, Pop, Gram, and Brooks?”
A large knot forms in the back of my throat as the contents of my stomach threaten to come up. “No. Why would you think that?”
“Well, because my dad lives here in Arizona, and he’s making us do this test so he can take me away from you,” he murmurs quietly.
“What? Baby, no one is going to take you away from me,” I say, standing and pulling him close to my body. “Camden, Mommy would never let anyone take you away from me. This test is to prove to some people that your father is who I say he is and maybe open the door for you to get to know him.”
“I don’t want to know him.”
My heart breaks as I take in the sad look on his face. Like he’s trying to hold back his tears from spilling down his cheeks. “I thought you wanted to see him and meet him.”
He snorts, wiping the back of his hand under his nose. “Yeah, to tell him I don’t want to know him. That I want him to go away.”
“Cam…”
“No, Mom. Why does he want me now?” Tears well in my eyes as his own fall.
I always imagined how it would be when Camden found out about his father, and the day they met one another. Would they embrace each other? Would he want to have a bond with him? Never in a million years did I think it would be the opposite. More of a fear that his father might take him away from me due to our lack of relationship.
“Camden,” I say, rubbing his hair that has grown out to look like Brooks. “Your father and I had a complicated relationship, and I wish I had the answers for you. But I don’t. No matter what though, I will not let anyone… ever… take you away from me. Do you understand me?”
With a nod, I pull him into a big hug, hoping that he really understands. We break apart as the sound of a quiet knock echoes throughout the room. The technician walks in holding a series of swabs and a bunch of paperwork. After explaining everything, she opens up the swabs, placing them on a small prep table before instructing Camden to open his mouth. Three swabs for safe measure are taken before we’re free to go.
I should feel lighter knowing that this is what’s best for Camden. That all those lies that had been spread about me and his father are finally going to be put to rest. That Camden will finally get to have his dad in his life. Yet the heaviness I have felt in my chest since the articles came out is still there. Weighing me down like a ton of cinderblocks.
Crushing me.
Sure, Camden will get his father. But is it the father he deserves? That’s easy to answer. No. Boyce had all the time to want to be in his life, yet it took some bad publicity for him tostep up. Camden deserves someone who wants him regardless of bad publicity. Who loves him unconditionally.
Camden throws open the door to the waiting room, avoiding Boyce completely, throwing himself into Brooks’ arms.
“Thanks for being here, Brooks,” he says, nuzzling his head into Brooks’ chest.
A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips. “No problem, buddy. I’ll always be here. No matter what.”
And just like that, the pain in my chest eases a little. Like I said, a little. There’s still that guilt eating away at me that I haven’t been fully honest with Brooks. I have to tell him. I’m going to tell him. Just not now.
