Page 44 of Harbor Lights
“Were you married?”
Con speared a piece of fish. “For all those years we were together, we couldn’t legally marry. The equal marriage legislation was being finalized when she left me. The day she announced we were over, I had a ring in my pocket, waiting for the perfect moment.”
Shiv felt her eyes prickle at the thought of Con’s anguish. “Oh jeez, Con. That must’ve been devastating. So, after all that, how did you remain friends?”
Con finished chewing. “Majella insisted. I guess it was guilt. She said she wanted me to have a place in her life still. And I wasn’t ready to let her go. So, I went along with it.”
“And now?”
“Now it’s just become the norm. I’ve been there to see Audrey’s children grow from children to adults living their own lives.”
“And are those relationships important?”
Con stared. “I don’t… know. It’s what I’m used to. I spend every Christmas there, go for birthdays and anniversaries.”
Shiv wanted to ask more about whether the situation made her happy, but she felt she’d pushed enough. She took the last bite of her eggplant. “So, what’s the plan for the youth club, if you can get it up and running?”
Con smiled and seemed grateful for the change in topic. “I think there’s a lot of possibilities. The kids on the island would love somewhere to meet, especially the ones who aren’t sporty. A few kids have talked about game nights. You know those role-playing games?”
“Like Dungeons and Dragons? I didn’t know kids still played that.”
“Oh, yes, it’s still got a big following. So, we could have something happening every evening. And a couple of nights specifically for LGBTQ+ kids.”
“So, if they weren’t out at home, they could say they were going to the youth club?” Shiv liked the idea of providing a safe space.
“Yeah, but I need to have a way of getting kids between here and the mainland, regularly. Christy’s offered the water taxi, but he’s the only qualified youth worker in the area, so I was hoping to get him more involved in that side of things.”
“Christy Walsh is a youth worker?” Shiv had imagined her cousins were destined to run the ferry business from birth.
“Yes, he worked for a while in the city, but came home when Anto wanted him and Aoife to take over the ferries.”
“I guess there’s a lot of detail to work out.”
“There is.” Con took a long drink of her wine. “But it will be such a worthwhile project.” Her smile spread from ear to ear. “I can’t remember when I felt so passionate about anything outside of my work.”
A motivated, happy Con filled Shiv with warmth. The vibrancy of her smile transformed her, and Shiv gave up trying to deny her attraction and bathed in it. Everything about Con was magnetic: her caring nature, her strong, reassuring presence, those capable hands. She shivered slightly and realized they’d been staring into each other’s eyes a little too long.
“Are we all finished here?”
The server’s question jolted them out of the moment and Con picked up her napkin and wiped her mouth. “Just dessert to go now.”
Shiv wanted to lose herself again in Con’s smile. She had the urge to take away all of the hurt and loneliness that lurked behind it.Who am I kidding? I’m even more fucked up than she is. She’d hardly see me as a safe harbor.
Con emptied her wineglass. Shiv reached for the water jug and her fingers brushed Con’s when she reached for it also. Shiv swallowed and pulled her hand back, watching Con fill her glass before topping up her own with the last of the wine.
“You don’t mind me drinking, do you?”
“Not at all.” Not if it helped Con enjoy the evening. Shiv felt alive with the energy building between them. She wouldn’t want anything to deaden that, even if she was unsure where it was leading. The bonus was she was so taken up with Con’s presence, she’d barely been aware there were other people in the room. Eating in public was definitely less of a problem with Con there to distract her.
They finished their last course with more casual conversation, as Shiv asked about Con’s favorite beaches to search for sea glass. But her top moment was when she commented about how tart her peach melba was, and Con suggested they combine the flavors. Licking the rich chocolate mousse from Con’s spoon while they maintained eye contact seemed pretty flirty to Shiv. In Con’s mind, where was this going?
Con insisted on settling the bill and asked Shiv to wait for her in the lobby while she spoke with Kasia. Shiv held out her thick wool coat as she returned, unsure if Con would appreciate the gesture.
Con smiled as she shrugged into the coat. “I don’t think anyone has ever done that for me before.”
“Is it okay?” It mattered.
“It’s okay with you, yeah.”
