Page 45 of Changing Tides
EIGHTEEN
Joey had enjoyedthe evening with Denny so much they were a little sad when it was his bedtime, and they had to stop reading and leave him to sleep. Their experience of childcare was very different from the responsibilities of real parenting, when you had to fit a busy life around the demands of a small child. But still, they wished they had more time with him.
They’d just checked in on Denny for the umpteenth time and found him still fast asleep when the truck pulled up outside. They opened the door for Marianne. “Hi, how was your evening?”
Marianne’s cheeks were pale, and her hair was plastered to her head. “Good thanks. No disasters. I’m ready for my day off, though.”
“I’ll get away and let you relax.” They pulled their coat from the hook, but Marianne closed the door.
“Please stay for a drink?” She went into the kitchen. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
Joey’s insides froze. Had she changed her mind about staying? They followed behind. “Okay.”
Marianne swung open the fridge and pulled out a bottle of white wine. “Open this and pour us a glass while I jump in the shower.”
Joey watched her walk up the corridor, pulling her clothes off as she went. Quickly turning away, they went in search of a bottle opener.
They’d filled two glasses and had been waiting in the lounge for just a few minutes when Marianne reappeared, dressed in old worn sweatpants and towel-drying her wet hair.
She launched herself onto the couch and picked up the glass, taking a long mouthful. “Thank you, I needed this.” She pulled up her bare feet and rested her head back.
Joey felt for her. They wished they could do more to lighten her load. “It’s a lot for you. A demanding full-time job and being a single parent of a toddler.”
Marianne rested the hand with the wineglass on the back of the couch and turned her gaze to Joey. “Yeah, I don’t think I can do it long-term. I need to think about where my career is going next. And not being able to talk about Denny’s future with Amira is driving me to distraction. She surely can’t just walk out of his life. She’s legally his parent as much as I am.”
“I don’t know how she can bear to be away from him so long. He’s…amazing.” Did that sound lame? Joey was virtually a stranger to Denny. They doubted Marianne was looking for their emotional input.
Marianne was still watching them, and she chewed her lip for a moment. “He really thrives around you. I often feel I’m rushing my time with him. Amira was the same. We were always too busy with the business. But you put everything on hold when you’re around Denny. I need to learn from you.”
Joey laughed uncomfortably. “I don’t think you should take parenting tips from the person least likely to be a parent.”
“Maybe you should think about it. Some people are naturals. You’re one of those.”
“There would be nothing natural about me becoming a parent.” Joey hoped she hadn’t picked up on the undertone of bitterness, but their earlier thoughts came back, and they hated that they could never have a child.
Marianne sat up. “Hey, don’t talk like that. Amira and I didn’t just drop into it in the easy way many hetero couples can and conceive without even thinking about it. But maybe having to work harder at it makes us more deserving of the privilege of parenting a child.” She shook her head. “Or at least that’s what I thought back then.” Her expression darkened.
Joey swirled the wine in the glass. “Maybe we should change the conversation topic.”
The wine splashed dangerously close to the rim as they watched with concentration, not wanting to hear what Marianne had to say next.
“Oh yes, the thing I wanted to talk to you about.”
Marianne got up and returned with the wine bottle. She topped up her own glass with a generous measure, but Joey waved away a refill. They weren’t particularly looking forward to their nighttime ride across the island as it was. They didn’t need to add falling in a ditch to their day.
“I need to get back on social media. I posted that I was taking a month’s break and that’s over now. I’ll need to come back with a bounce.”
‘You’ve got a stunning backdrop and a beautiful restaurant to film in. You’ll soon get back in the swing of it.” Joey had long been a big fan of Marianne’s channels. Her snippets of life as a chef were engaging and illuminating and had always made Joey feel they knew her better than they did.
“You remember when I came out on the boat with you, and we filmed the journey of the lobsters? From you pulling up the creels to me serving them up in the restaurant.”
“Yeah, it was a good day.” The day they’d realized just how strong their inappropriate feelings were. They remembered every moment like it had been yesterday.
Mari took a drink. “It was fun, but it was also one of the most popular reels I’ve ever made. The engagement it got was off the chart.” She looked at Joey. “I’d like to do it again. Maybe a series covering everything you catch. And we could go out to the oyster bed.”
Joey was torn. The opportunity to spend time with Mari was so tempting, but they were trying to keep their distance. Cramped together on the tiny Queen Maedbh wasn’t the best way to do that. Besides, they were uncomfortable on camera, though Marianne seemed to have an inexplicable interest in featuring them extensively in her videos.
“I don’t think I can fit it in. Between work and Dad, and now trying to take time to get the funding in place for the new trestles, there just isn’t any spare time.”
