Page 63 of Changing Tides
“You’re the kindest person I ever met, Joey O’Hara.”
They handed over the keys, which reminded them about Donal and Liam.
“Oh, I nearly forgot. My brothers arrive tomorrow on the afternoon ferry. Can you leave the truck at the hotel with the keys in it? So they can bring their luggage over.”
“Of course.”
When Marianne left, the cottage felt empty and silent, so they got out to Queen Maedbh as quickly as they could. The howl of the wind and the screaming of the gulls helped drown out the voices in their head.
They anchored the boat out away from land and stood staring out at the sea, trying to calm their thoughts. Last night with Marianne had been like all their dreams come true. Combined with their worst nightmare. Why couldn’t they enjoy it for what it was? A beautiful night of lovemaking with a woman who not only accepted, but embraced them for who they were.
But how could they avoid the heartache to come? They knew now when Marianne called, they would always come running. But what about when she wasn’t there to call any more, and the loneliness came creeping back in?
TWENTY-FIVE
Never hadMarianne been so grateful for a quiet evening in the restaurant. She could focus on cooking good food and remembering what had happened in the last twenty-four hours.
To be fair, she’d accepted Joey’s invitation with a need to scratch the itch that was her attraction to them. What had she been looking for? Confirmation she could still desire and be desired?
What she’d got was a night of intensity she’d never dreamed of. Yes, she enjoyed the sexual side of relationships, and a new partner always brought novelty and excitement, but this had been so much more than that. It was like a connection at the deepest level.
That was not what she needed at this moment in time. She needed stability and a clear head, to make the best decision about her future, and Denny’s.
She left the team to close up and took the short ride back in Joey’s truck. Joey felt suddenly close at the sight of their coat slung over the passenger seat, and the other reminders of them in the cab. The vehicle was old enough to have a CD player and she switched it on, interested to hear Joey’s musical tastes. George Michael’s Faith blared, and she smiled, imagining Joeydancing to the tune. She brought herself back to the present as she pulled up outside the cottage.
Aisling met her at the door. “Hi, Marianne. He’s fast asleep.”
“Okay, thanks.” She passed her a few notes and looked around. “How are you getting back?”
“Oh, I’ve a lift, now.” She waved as a small car pulled up the lane. “See you tomorrow.”
She ran up the driveway to the car before Marianne could ask any further questions, and the car was soon reversing down the lane at speed.
“Goodnight, Aisling.” She wondered if she should mention it to Tierney, but figured Aisling’s behavior outside of looking after Deniz was none of her business. She didn’t want to antagonize her star babysitter.
She looked in on Denny, who was indeed sound asleep, and prepared for bed before trying Amira’s number once again. There was still no reply.
It had been two months now since Amira had spoken with Denny. Marianne still sat and went through his photo book with him on the nights she put him to bed, and other times when she remembered to pull it out. They’d look through all the family members, and she hoped Denny would start repeating the names. Each time they reached the pages that showed the three of them together, she would point to Amira and say “Mummy,” but Denny would just run his finger over the page and move on. What if this fucked up family situation scarred him for life?
When she was ready for bed, she slipped into Denny’s room and scooted in behind him. She wouldn’t get a good night’s sleep with his little feet bashing into her, but she needed to be close to him, as all her doubts and worries crashed in on her.
Denny stirred in his sleep and rolled over to snuggle into her chest. She held him tight. Whatever happened, she needed to be sure she did what was best for Denny.
“Amira, finally. Where have you been?”She almost spat the words down the phone, but she couldn’t hold back her frustration. Whatever else was going on with Amira, how could she ignore her child for so long? Marianne could barely be away from Denny for a couple of nights without feeling lost.
“I’m okay, thanks for asking.” Amira’s voice lacked energy. “My mother sent me to that rehab place again. She said she spoke to you.”
“Only because I called. You have a child, Amira. You can’t just disappear from his life no matter what you think of me.”
“Will you give me a break? I was a mess, and my mum saw that and did something about it. That’s what the people who love you are meant to do.”
“Youwere a mess? How do you think it’s been for me, trying to juggle being a single parent, and pick up the remnants of my life?”
“I’m not interested in your self-obsessed drama, Marianne. That’s what got me here in the first place.”
Marianne dug her fingers into her leg until it hurt. Then she squeezed some more. If she really wanted Amira to continue to be a part of Denny’s life, she would have to separate a co-parenting relationship from all her anger and resentment and disappointment at the demise of their marriage.
She let out a long breath. “So, what are we going to do now? Will you come and visit Denny? He must be so confused about what’s happened.”
