Page 30 of Where the Waves Kiss the Shore
Tierney squinted at him. “There aresomany reasons why that’s wrong. You can’t put your refusal to talk about personal issues ahead of everything and everyone, including your children.” She’d never challenged him before about his emotional unavailability, but she was sick of trying so hard in their relationship and getting nothing back. Now it turned out all her worries about not being good enough for him had been for nothing.
“You’re being harsh, Tierney. I’ve always done my best for both of you.”
“But you lied to us. For all those years. Megan’s mom told her you wouldn’t allow her to her to tell her the truth. What the fuck? How did this even happen?”
“You were both happy, weren’t you? You didn’t need to know.”
“And what about Mom? You threw her out with nothing because she had an affair, and you were no better yourself.”
“Your mother’s behavior was very different to my moment of weakness comforting a friend, Tierney. And she knew that. It’s why she walked away.”
She rocked back in the chair. “What do you mean ‘comforting’? When did it happen?” She wasn’t sure she wanted to know the full details, but she had to understand.
Her dad started to stand. “Shall we have coffee?”
Grasping his arm, she pulled him back. “Talk to me first. I’m so confused by all of this.”
He relaxed back into his leather chair and sighed. “Eddie was one of the first employees who came over from Ireland to work for me. He was a good worker, but he was already in a habit of hard drinking after work before Brenda came over to join him and they got married. Eddie was from Portrinn, but Brenda wasan island girl, and we’d been at school together. Our family and hers had been friends for generations.”
“So you had sex with her for old times’ sake?” Tierney wasn’t hearing anything that made this any better.
He bowed his head. “The first time Eddie hurt her, I felt responsible. I was the reason they were here, after all. After the cops took him away, she was afraid he’d be released. She asked me to stay over and…” He lifted his eyes to Tierney’s. “It was just once, I swear.”
“And this was before Mom got pregnant with me?” She knew the answer. She could do the math, but she needed to hear him say it.
He closed his eyes and rubbed them. “Yes, not long before. But I didn’t know, Tierney. Not for certain. Neither of us did until she was born.”
“So you just carried on playing happy families as if nothing had happened?”
“I was married to your mom, and we wanted a family. Brenda took Eddie back, though everyone tried to dissuade her. When she discovered she was pregnant, she was terrified Eddie would find out what we’d done, and we agreed never to tell anyone.”
Tierney sneered. “How convenient for you.”
“It was complicated. I made a mistake. You don’t understand.”
Tierney thought back to her ill-advised night of passion with Kasia. Kasia was single though…and anything but vulnerable. And could Tierney really look back on that night as a mistake?
“As time went on, things became more convoluted, and when I took on guardianship of Megan, it seemed unnecessary to tell her. I was taking care of her, and that was what counted.”
“She didn’t know who she was. And I didn’t know I had a sister. You avoided the truth for your own comfort.”
“I’m sorry.” He met her eye. “I did what I thought was best.”
Best forhim. But Tierney doubted he would ever face up to that. “You have to talk to Megan. Have an honest and real conversation with her, Dad. And stop hiding behind saying you did things for the best reasons. She needs to be able to tell you how this has made her feel.”
She had a sudden urge to put some distance between them and stood.
“I’ll be heading back to Inishderry in the next few days. There are urgent repairs that need doing. I assume I have your authority to get things moving?” She was tired of asking him for every little thing.
He gave a short nod. “You can use the company account for repairs. Do what you need to get the Waterside ready for next season.”
She wondered if he was as happy to see the back of her for a while as she was to go.
“Any bigger plans than that, and I’m going to need to see some figures. I’m still unsure if I want to keep it in the long term.”
She was too drained from the emotional wasteland of the last few days to tell him to get over his perceived childhood trauma and honor his mother’s wishes. That was a fight for another day.
When she was alone, she checked the time difference and called Kasia. She wanted Kasia to know it was her own idea to return to distance herself from Kasia’s idea of a pathetic little kid at her dad’s beck and call. She’d been pretty out of it when Kasia had called about the flooding, still reeling from the revelations at the funeral. She should’ve showed more concern.
