Page 38 of Finding Noah
I’d texted Malcom to make sure he was okay. Well, under the pretext of a wellness check. He’d apologized, saying something about an emergency. I hadn’t assessed him as a guy who might lie, but that didn’t mean he’d been truthful.
Soren had popped off a quick text to Noah, saying how he’d left Tibby alone too long and how he’d needed to get home. Okay…sure… But why not at least saygoodbyebefore taking off?
The guys’ actions made me wonder if maybe they’d hooked up. If they’d found in each other what each had clearly found lacking in Noah and me.
I was especially peeved at Soren. He’d looked at Noah and found him lacking? Lacking in what? Noah was damn near perfect. Hell, most of the time hewasperfect.
How do I move us past this impasse? He’s looked at me a couple of times this morning. Is he seeing me differently? Can I take advantage of this? Is pressing forward the right thing to do, or should I be backing off?
Fuck it. "I've never kissed a guy before—can you show me how it's done?" I sipped my coffee.
Noah’s gaze shot from his toast to mine. “Could you repeat that?”
“Well, I’ve never kissed a guy before.” I shrugged casually. “Can you show me how it’s done?” In truth, I’d barely kissed a girl either. Laura and I had exchanged a couple of attempts—like if we could somehow make out, then we could make our relationship work.How’d that work out for you? And you think it’ll be different with Noah? He’s got towantyou—he doesn’t right now.
Sometimes I hated when my inner voice was right.
Noah cocked his head in that way I found so endearing—like he was trying to solve some great puzzle of the universe.
Only this time, things were entirely simple. I wanted him. Would do anything for him. Hell, I’d moved across the country so he wouldn’t be alone. Now, some of that had been self-interest. Getting away from my hometown, the Frankstons, and—most especially—my parents, had been critical.
“Christian?” His voice croaked a little—as it often did so early. He was definitelynota morning person.
“Hmm?” I took a sip of orange juice.
“You say you love me?” His nose did that little wrinkly thing I found so endearing.
“Yep.” The congealing eggs really needed to be eaten, but Noah’s dark-brown eyes held me mesmerized.
He cleared histhroat. “Like in a sterile, non-sexual way?”
Truly adorable.“No. Not at all.” My toast, with strawberry jam, was slightly more appealing, so I bit into that.
He eyed me. “So...? If I said I wanted to take you to bed right now? You'd just agree?” Dubiousness permeated his words.
Be honest with him…even if your first inclination is to jump up and down and yell, ‘hell, yes’.I took a breath—and also a moment to compose myself. “Well, no. I'd first ask you what you meant by that, because I'm a virgin, and therefore I don't think I'm ready for you to fuck me through your headboard on the first night. I need to work up to that.” I tilted my head, as if in consideration. “But I might be wrong about that.”
He gaped. “About which part? TheI’m a virginpart, or thefuck me through your headboardpart? Because I have to say…” And then he didn’t say anything. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but no actual words came out.
Finally, “You're.... a v-virgin?”
I enjoyed how he stuttered the last word. “Yep.” Said with great enthusiasm. “But if you want to make me a non-virgin, I'd be very happy to cooperate.” A grin split my face at the idea of doing all those firsts with Noah. Because as much as I saw him as my best friend, I also wanted so much more—intimacy, caring, and affection. I wanted him to love me the way I loved him.
“Uh.... I think I need to think about this.” He drank several mouthfuls of coffee.
“Okay. Take your time. There’s no rush.” Because I didn’t see him kicking me out, and I certainly wasn’t going to turf him. I was sort of relieved things hadn’t worked out with either Soren or Malcolm last night.
Noah blinked. “Oh my God. You're so not bothered about this, are you?” His pupils were again wide as he clearly tried to sort out the conundrum that was me.
“I love you. I will take as much or as little as you're willing to give.” To me, things really were that simple. Really were that black and white.
He squinted in that way he did when he was thinking really, really, really hard. “And if I said I wanted you naked in my bed in three minutes and Iwasgoing to fuck you through my headboard, you'd go along with it?”
I grinned. “But you wouldn't say that to me, Noah. I'm not one of your boyfriends. However, if you're willing to show me how to give a blow job, I'll go for it.” Because that idea intrigued me as much as the first day I’d realized that was a thing—probably way earlier than I was supposed to. What could I say? I had a very creative imagination—especially when it came to coming up with ways to be intimate with Noah.
There’s that word again. Because, to me, this was so much more than just body parts coming together. To be a broken record…Ilovedhim.
He let out a long breath. “Jesus Christ. Fucking Hell. You can't just say that sort of stuff to a guy and…”
